Time still goes on...

Well, it's been a while but A LOT has happened since I've written. We moved into my parents house and found out we were expecting our first child. Wow...God is just funny that way right?

I mean the last thing on my mind, no excuse me, the FARTHEST thing from my mind would be to be living at home with my first child. Well, this has been a pregnancy of testing. I mean from the get go God has truly been testing our faith. I found a cyst growing underneath my breast 2 days before I found out I was pregnant. We found out it was a skin cyst and have to wait until after the baby is born to figure out what to do.

Through out the rest of the pregnancy it has been one thing after another. Horrible first trimester (I was so sick and weak). Bleeding through the second trimester has lead me to be on bed rest. They found out that I have an incompetent cervix.

I have been on bed rest now for a little over a month. And it has been a trying time. Trying mostly because of the cramps that I get on occasion. God is good though. Through my mother He gave me this awesome verse:

ZECHARIAH 2:5 For I,' says the LORD, 'will be a wall of fire all around her, and I will be the glory in her midst.'

I pray that through any circumstances you are presently going through you remember this verse. Keep close to your heart my friend that He WILL be a wall of fire all around you.

I love you my friend!

The Faithful Stand Tall

Marcy couldn't help but smile as she let her eyes gaze across the room. This week, 50 people came to visit their small basement church. It never ceased to amaze her how awesome God was. Just 3 weeks ago, there were only 6 people in attendance; including Steve - her husband - and herself.

Just two months ago, they moved to Africa to start their ministry in the small town. They started out with just 3 people: Steve, the local pastor and herself. They felt called of the Lord to help out local pastors in Africa. Steve and Marci had to go through extensive training; but they were ready. They were excited. It has always been their dream to be missionaries in Africa.

"Let us pray in conclusion," said her husband. She smiled as Pastor Fahim translated. She didn't know why, but that always amused her. Hearing her husband teach and someone else translate.

There was a creak on the floorboards above. A whisper - or was that a mouse?

Everyone became silent. Fear raced through Marci's heart and she prayed silently, "Lord please protect these people. Don't let them get caught."

"Were you expecting anyone?" Steve asked no one in particular. "No," Marci looked at Pastor Fahim, "Did you tell anyone you were coming here?"

"No, I did not. Please everyone remain silent. There is no need to fear, but Marci, can you please go upstairs to see what that noise was? Steve maybe you should join her." Pastor Fahim instructed and translated.

Instinctively, she grabbed her husband's hand tight, as they started up the stairs. Steve stopped and looked down at his wife, "Its okay, hun. We are children of God. Keep repeating that, I am a child of God. Keep praying too."

Marci could not help but laugh at her husband, he always knew how to make her smile. "God please protect those people, don't let them get caught. Heavenly Father, please protect Steve and I. Please Lord, let this be nothing."

They continued climbing the stairs together in silence.

Marci jumped as she saw a man standing in their kitchen. Her heart could not stop racing. She kept praying, "Please Lord, protect those people don't let them get caught."

"Can I help you?" Steve asked. Marci stood behind her husband in submission, but kept praying continuously. "Jesus save us. Please don't let those people get caught. They desperately need to hear more of your word. Please Lord. Please."

"Are you Steven and Marci Boretti?" The man asked quietly.

"Yes," he replied cautiously.

"Thank you." The man replied. He then walked out their home; leaving the door wide open.

Steve walked to the door to close it, "What was that all abo-". A shot rang out, as Steve fell to the ground grabbing his chest.

"Steven!" Marci raced to his side. "Honey, where are you hit?" He looked at her and smiled, "I see Jesus". She cried out "Oh God, No! Please NO!"

She heard footsteps run in, but she never took her eyes off her husband. "Steven stay with me!" She felt hands pull her arms off of her husband. "Steven! LOOK AT ME! Jesus save us!"

Pain shot through her head as someone hit her. "JESUS SAVE US!" Marci blacked out.

When she awoke; she found herself in a dark room. She felt around and waited until her eyes adjusted. It seemed like she was in a dungeon of some sorts. Confused she tried to get up from the floor, "Steve?" Chains stopped her from moving around. She was chained to a wall.

Then it all came back to her, her mind flooded with the memories of her husband on the floor. Was he dead? Was she dead?

"Jesus, please help me. Please be with me Lord. Please be with my husband." She stopped herself when she remembered all those people in her basement. "Jesus please protect those people. Don't let them be found." Marci prayed quietly.

The door opened and light flooded into her dark dungeon. "Ah, Mrs. Boretti - you are finally awake. I am so sorry that we have not met sooner." A shadow in the doorway started to talk to her, "You see I am very interested in what you and your husband are doing here. You see, it is against the law to preach about this Jesus. It is punishable by death." The shadow man stopped for effect.

"Now, unfortunately we had to punish your husband - excuse me, I had to punish your husband for teaching about Christianity. However, you on the other hand have never taught about him. You can be set free on several conditions." The shadow man stepped into the room and turned on the light. "You must renounce this Jesus, and turn to our religion. Next, you must leave our country and never come back. If you do, and I find out - I will kill you as I killed your husband."

Marci cocked her head to the side, the shadow man was not tall or scary - just sad. She could not help but notice how sad he was. I see that I got to you, what I will do is leave and give you some time to think about -"

"I don't need to think about it. I know my answer," Marci replied with determination. "Jesus Christ came to this earth to save my soul, and I will never stop telling the world about Him; and I will never leave. If you force me out, I will return. God's word needs to be preached to all, even - no especially you. God loves you and -"

"ENOUGH!" the shadow man yelled. "Do you think this is a joke? I could kill you now."

"Then please do. All I have to say is: may God have mercy on your soul. May your eyes be open to your sin and you give your life to Christ. God loves you, I love you." Marci closed her eyes waiting for a shot to ring out. After several seconds she opened her eyes.

"Mrs. Boretti, I will not kill you yet. My men are scheduled to spend some time with you. Maybe you will change your mind before then." The shadow man gave her a sinister smile and closed the door.

"Jesus, I pray for that man. Save him please. Open his eyes so that he may see his sin. Save him Lord, please save him."

Several days went by - or what seemed like days - and several atrocities occurred - but Marci kept praying for him...and for the soldiers committing those atrocities. "God please save them. Save their souls. Open their eyes to their sin."

The shadow man finally came back. "Stand up Mrs. Boretti."

She could no longer move. Her ravaged body could take no more. The shadow man walked over to her and placed her in a chair, "So Mrs. Boretti, have you decided to change your mind?"

Marci looked up at her captor, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. God loves you, may your eyes be opened to your sin and to the ultimate love He has to offer you. I have never stopped praying for you and your men. May God save you." She closed her eyes and waited for the end to come.

Quietly she started to sing the only song that came to mind, as tears rolled down her face, "Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so, little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so."

After she finished, Marci looked up at the shadow man, "Aren't you going to kill me?"

"Why do you say those things to me? We have done such horrible things to you. We..." the shadow man lowered his head in shame.

"Jesus loves you, and he is waiting for you to accept Him. Who am I to say I can't pray for you? Who am I to say anything accept: God loves you and He wants you to know Him and accept Him. Open your heart to the only one who can heal it."

The shadow man unlocked her chains turned around and walked away. She stared in amazement as he walked out the door and left it open.

She stayed in her chair wondering what to do next. "You are free to go child." Marci jumped at the voice. She turned her head to see where the voice was coming from. Standing in the back corner was a man dressed in white robes. He had such a kind face, and it seemed familiar somehow - but she did not move. "What?" she asked suspiciously. "You are free to go Marci; your faithfulness has set you free." She smiled, stood up and walked out the door.

Deu 31:8 And the LORD, He [is] the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.

Voice Of Truth

Casting Crowns has an awesome song; “Voice of Truth”. It’s a powerful song, and for those who don’t know the song, I have listed the lyrics at the end of this entry. It gave me the inspiration for this next story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jennifer stared at her husband in confusion, he always had the tendency to mumble when he talks. “What did you just say?” Mark looked her right the eye, “I said I was just let go from my second job.” Jennifer was flabbergasted, they just told him he was the best investment they made. “What happened?”

Mark sat down on the couch, disgusted and tired. “They said that I ran a test wrong. But I did exactly what my supervisor told me to do. I don’t understand why they did that, I thought I was doing good there.”

“Baby, that’s not something we can concentrate on right now. God removed you from this job for a reason. Personally, I am so happy that you no longer work there. I feel safer knowing you are going to be home with me, you were working too much and tired. I was scared all the time for your safety.” Jennifer said with determination.

Mark had been working overnight in a retail store that was two hours away. “I mean, we need this job. What are we going to do now, Jennifer?”

After some thought Jennifer finally responded. “We need to move into my parents house. We can’t afford this rent anymore.”

Mark looked at her with such hurt in his eyes, “We can’t. We just signed the lease, they won’t let us out of our contract.” Jennifer looked at her husband in disbelief, “How do you know that? You don’t know what could happen baby. Maybe you should call and talk to them.”

Mark looked dejected and sad, it hurt her to see her husband like this. “God, give me the right words to say to him.” Jennifer prayed silently. “Baby, this is a good thing that happened.” Jennifer moved closer to her husband, “You were getting so tired and cranky. You were missing out on a lot of things because of this job. Now, you can live at least little more. We can now finally go to church during the week, you know how much we missed that.” Jennifer was trying so hard to make her husband feel better.

“Its these stupid bills we have. I have to find a second job so that we can pay off these bills and start a family,” her husband looked at her with such determination.

“Baby, lets just pray right now. We need to pray and ask God for wisdom and peace,” Jennifer said. Mark looked at her in disbelief, “I can’t pray right now, you need to pray.”

Jennifer’s heart sank, “OK honey.” They prayed together for a few minutes. Fearing for her husbands walk Jennifer said, “God is allowing this to happen in our lives for a reason. We need to just sit and wait on Him. Baby, this just means that God has something a million times better waiting for you. He will bless us if we have faith in Him alone.”

Jennifer got up from the couch. “You can’t let this get you down. If you do that’s letting Satan win. You have to have faith even when things look grim.”

“But what about children? I want us to have kids; I want you to be a mother. But now we have to wait again to try for kids.” Mark looked at her as if to challenge her. But she understood all too well that Mark was losing his faith again. She walked back over to him, and sat right in front of him.

“Baby, who says we can’t try while in my parents house? Who says I’m not pregnant now? If we start trying at my parents house, it will be okay. I won’t have the baby that day. We will have time to pay down the debts and find a home. Baby, look at it this way. Now you finally have time to study and pass for your certification. There ya go! That’s probably why this happened! God wants you to be certified in March!” Jennifer said with great faith.

Mark stood silent. Jennifer got up to call her mother. “Where are you going?” Mark asked. “To call my mom, so she can pray for us about the moving out thing. We would probably need someone to come and take our place in order for us to move out without penalty. So she can pray for us.” Jennifer said walking to the phone.

“Hi Mom.”

“Hey sweetie. Whats up?”

“Mark was just fired from his second job. They gave him some lame reason.”

“Oh no. We’ll definitely keep you guys in prayer.”

“Mom, we are going to need to move in with you guys. We can’t afford this rent without his second job - so please pray for us as we talk to the rental office.”

“Okay, will definitely do that.”

Jennifer talked a little while longer with her mother, while Mark sat patiently waiting for an answer. “Well?” Mark said as soon as she got off the phone. “My mom said that she would talk with my Dad, but that she doesn’t think it would be a problem to move in with them.” Jennifer felt such a peace come over her. “This is what God wanted us to do. Move in with my parents. Accept help.”

Mark looked at her, “I feel like such a failure. Like I’m less of a husband cause I can’t provide for you.” Jennifer sat on the couch next to him, “You are the best husband this woman could ever ask for. Don’t think that. That is just Satan messing with your head.”

Mark put his head in his hands, “This is just too much to handle. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take this.”

Jennifer hugged her husband and said, “You are not supposed to handle this. You are supposed to give it to God. He is the only one that can handle this. Remember right before we got married how we dedicated our marriage to God? We prayed that our marriage would bring total and ultimate glory to Him. This is how God is going to be glorified. When we are at the bottom of the well and there is no way out but to call AND WAIT on Him. God is going to be glorified through this baby. That is why we must go through this. If we have faith in God, He will definitely bless us.”

“God give us your grace so that we can get through this. Help us Lord.”

Mark hugged her back, “We gotta have that faith.”

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.

Oh, what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he’s holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
“Boy, you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
“Boy you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don’t seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says “do not be afraid”
And the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
‘Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

Something Odd

There has been something on my heart lately; and I just honestly couldn't place what it was. It has been bugging me since New Year's Eve. I've just been discombobulated, for lack of a better word. My spirit has been unsettled...don't know why. I just have this feeling like something huge is going to happen this year.

Have you ever had that feeling? Just knowing that there is something huge that going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it. Now here's the thing....what could it be? A million things have been going through my mind. Is it that I'm going to get pregnant again? Is it that the economic crisis is going to really adversely affect Dave and I? Is it about my book that I'm writing? Or is it something huge is going to happen to America?

Then it hit me....like a brick to the face. [SIDEBAR: I am going to break my rule and start talking about Politics here]. I really think that we are not going to get out of this crisis...things are just going to get worse. I think, no let me change that....I know that something is happening to America. Can't put my finger on it, but something is happening that we are not going to recover from. Whether it be as Daniel-In-The-Den says in his latest blog entry: A New Year Prediction or just the economic crisis reaching even lower. Just something.

It hit me this morning: I was floored when the TODAY show had a Scientologist on the show defending their religion. When someone in the Christian faith could not do so. They would edit it or interrupt them. There have been many times that people of faith have been seen as the crazy ones, the ones who "leave their brains at the doorway" - and we are not allowed to defend ourselves. I'm not saying that I want people to be able to defend themselves on TV - we have the Lord on our side who needs TV's right? I know God works in mysterious ways....its just so sad to see how crazy we have gotten.

Sorry to rant like this but.....everything is totally screwed up.

Inspiration

Ooo just got some inspiration. Hope you enjoy:

The Love Of My King

The love of my king,
will cost me
everything.

Joyfully I give
it away.
Who cares, its not
here to
stay.

I give Him
my heart
and
my life.
So that I may have
eternal life.

So sad you say?
what have you to live for
today?

Sex, money
and beer?

What will that do for you
except bring you
headaches, loneliness and fear

What my King offers is
Love, happiness and acceptance -
for years and years to come.

What more do I have to say
My King is waiting for you
to welcome Him in.

Power in the Name of Jesus

Jessica was a prideful girl. She always thought she was a great Christian; in fact she led a small group of women in bible study. She was doing just fine. Or so she thought. She would lead one life in church and another outside of church. She was not doing fine at all, she watched what she wanted, wore what she wanted...etc. Never really took the spiritual world as something serious. Don't get me wrong, she was sweet as could be...but greatly misguided.

I have known Jessica for most of my life; she is not a woman to tell tall tales. She is not an exaggerator - well sometimes she is. But all in all, she is a level-headed, extremely logical woman. So when she told me this tale...I believed her whole heartedly.

1Jo 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

It was around 5:30am one morning. Jessica woke up to hear her mother in the kitchen making herself breakfast.

Jessica was sleeping on her side facing the wall, when she felt someone else in the room. She turned her head to see if there was anyone in the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw an old woman by her closet. The woman looked like death. She had gray skin that seemed to sparkle in the dim light, as if she was covered in dust. Her eyes were bright - like cats eyes reflecting a light. Her hair was white, but covered in the gray dust that covered her body.

She was just gray all over.

Jessica quickly turned on her back to sit up and scream out when the old lady ran out of her eyesight. Jessica tried to sit up...but she felt a pressure pushing her down. It was as if someone or something was pushing every body part down into the bed. Head, legs, arms, fingers, feet...everything. She felt arms wrap around her whole body, but there was nothing there.

"What the-?" Jessica's mouth clamped shut. She tried to open it but only her lips parted. Her teeth could not, would not separate.

Fear crept into her heart.

Then she heard the old lady talk, almost spitting into Jessica's ear. It was in a different language, but Jessica understood the hate and anger behind the voice.

She was going to die.

"Jesus," Jessica was finally able to mutter.

Yelping, the old lady stopped speaking. "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." Jessica kept saying the sweet name over and over. As each time the name of Jesus came out, the pressure alleviated.

"Jesus save me." Jessica finally was able to talk. There was no more pressure, there was nothing.

Jessica jumped out of the bed and searched her room. She looked at her bed as she saw the imprint of her body still deeply impressed into the mattress. "Oh my goodness."

Jessica ran downstairs to tell her mother. "Mom, you will never believe what just happened to me." Her body was still shaking as Jessica retold the story to her mother in detail. When she finished she expected her mother to tell her it was just her imagination, or it was a scary dream. To her shock her mother said: "That has happened to me too." She smiled at Jessica; “God has allowed you to witness something that many people will never - so that you can finally know how to pray. Here are some verses that comfort me and I know it will help you to calm down now:

Psa 18:2-6 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, [who is worthy] to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. The pangs of death surrounded me, And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid. The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; The snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, [even] to His ears.

"Sweetie, God has shown you this so that you can understand. Understand how to pray. Take this as it is - a blessing. Don't be afraid."

"Thanks Mom." Jessica went upstairs, still shaky - but filled with purpose. God had chosen her to be a witness to this. How many times has she mocked those who went through similar circumstances? What a fool she had been, limiting...well, basically the whole spiritual world. God wanted to use her, and she was finally ready to be used for His purpose.

All hail the power of Jesus' name!

Let angels prostrate fall;

bring forth the royal diadem,

and crown him Lord of all.

Bring forth the royal diadem,

and crown him Lord of all.

Trust and Obey

The night air felt good as the sweat poured down her face. She had been running throught the forest for what seemed like hours.

CRACK. HUFF.

She didn't dare turn around to see if it got closer, she just kept running. The 5'8" 30 yr old was out of shape and feeling it. Her heart and lungs felt as if they would burst; every muscle in her body burned as if on fire, but she did not stop. She couldn't let it catch up. Whatever it was.

CRACK. HUFF.

She got her second wind as she came across a paved road. She ran even faster. "God save me!"

CRACK. HUFF.

Whatever was chasing her was catching up. "GOD PLEASE SAVE ME!"

"Stop, slow down," came a voice. "What the-" Jennifer turned her head to follow the voice. As she did, she saw what was chasing her. A Grizzly bear came tumbling after her.

"HOLY CRAP!" Jennifer ran even harder. Looking for someone to help her - anyone.

"Stop, slow down Jennifer. Trust Me." the voice said.

Jennifer ignored as she heard the bear get closer. "JENNIFER, STOP!"

Tears started to steam down her face as she finally obeyed and stopped running. "I can't, Jesus help me I can't. Save me Lord" Jennifer said through the tears and her pain. She laid her body face down on the ground and closed her eyes, as she didn't want to see her body being torn apart.

As she heard the bear come upon her, she saw a bright light and heard someone singing:

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

She smiled as she remembered the hymn from her childhood; oh how she loved that song. It was her favorite. She couldn't help herself as she sang along:"Trust and obey, for there’s no other way To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

As the song finished she realized the bear had still not attacked her. She no longer heard its breathing. No longer heard its panting. She looked up to see the bear right before her. Just looking at her. It turned around as she sat up...and left her alone.

And she heard a voice say: "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2Cr 5:7

This was a dream I had long time ago, when I was not trusting in God. Please remember my friend, God is in control of everything. He wants you to trust in Him.

When things are looking dismal (you have no money to pay the bills this month, or your loved one just found out they have cancer), remember God wants you to trust in Him alone.

Psa 20:7 Some [trust] in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose.

My Hero...

To my readers, these two entries were about that day through my eyes. I dedicate this story to my mother who saved someone's life that day. She's my hero.

!!!!!!!!!!! I must warn it gets a little graphic!!!!!!!!!!!


"Where’s Dad?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know," her mother replied. "I tried to call him, but couldn't get through. I waited a little, but decided to walk to the ferry with Mary-Ann." Mary-Ann was her mother's 67yr old co-worker who lived down the street from them. Her mother went upstairs to shower off the dust.

"We gotta keep trying to call Dad," her brother finally broke the silence. He picked up the phone and continued trying.

While they waited for their mother to return, they continued to watch the news stories in disbelief. Jessica kept repeating to herself; "This can't be happening."

Their mother finally came downstairs and sat down with them.

"Ma, what happened?"

Their mother looked at them both with such sadness in her eyes. "I need a minute. Just a minute to stop and regroup."

Jessica watched as her mother put her hands on her face and sobbed so hard her body shook. It scared Jessica how hard her mother cried.

After some time, her mother looked up at them both. "I'm sorry about that. It’s just....the things that I saw..." her mother stopped.

"Mom, tell us what happened." Jessica said foolishly.

"Well, when it all started, we all heard a loud boom. It was so loud and so close we all figured that the Windows Around the World Restaurant had some sort of accident. Our fire & evacuation warden told everyone to get out. I asked her what had happened, all she told me was 'I don't know. All I know is I don't feel safe in here.'

"So I grabbed my bag and walked out the door. I didn't even think to grab my sneakers; I thought we would be back upstairs after a while. I called your father and we told each other just to get home. Thank God we left.

"I walked slowly with Mary-Ann, as she was having difficulty walking due to her breathing problems. We walked down the street to your fathers building and waited." Her mother stopped to wipe her eyes, "I tried calling your father, but only got through once. I left him a message saying I was waiting for him in front of his building. After a few minutes, I looked up at the Towers and saw what looked like clothes falling from the sky. I thought maybe people were getting hot and throwing their clothes out the windows; but as I took a step closer I saw that it was people." Their mother started to cry again, this time her children joined with her. "Oh my God, what must they have been thinking to jump out of a window and take their life...." she trailed off.

After a minute of silence and tears she continued, "I decided to walk to the Staten Island Ferry with Mary-Ann. When we got a couple of blocks away, the second plane hit the other tower. Mary-Ann kept repeating that the building was going to fall on us." Her mother took a breath.

"I kept telling her 'No, they're not going to fall, Mary-Ann. They were built to withstand things like this'. It was the Lord who kept me so calm during that whole time, all I kept thinking was that I did not want her to have a heart attack.

“Mary-Ann was telling me to leave her; she kept saying that she would understand if I ran off without her. But I told her, 'Mary-Ann we are going to get to the Ferry together. There is no way I am going to leave you here alone. Now let’s keep walking.' As soon as I said that there was a loud noise, like an airplane engine right next to us.

"I turned around to see this huge plume of smoke coming straight at us. I told Mary-Ann to cover her face completely with her sweater; I grabbed her arm and we kept walking. I covered my mouth and nose to keep the smoke out. It was so thick I could not see anything in front of me except this pair of black pants. And I followed those pants until we got to Battery Park." she stopped and looked at both her children.

"That was definitely the Lord guiding us, as I could not see a thing. Literally all I saw was a pair of black pants. Once we got to Battery Park, I wanted to thank the person and tell them we were following them, but I could not find anyone wearing those pants. It was as if they disappeared. God was really with us that day." Her mom sat back on the couch, watching her children as if she had never seen them before.

Xavier and Jessica looked at each other in disbelief and in unison said; "I can't believe this is happening."

They all hugged and said a prayer for their father.

At 2:00pm they received an odd phone call.

Xavier answered the phone, "Dad?"

"No, it’s your cousin Tati. Can I talk to your mom?"

Xavier handed the phone to their mother and gave a look of confusion to Jessica. "Who’s Tati?"

"Oh, that’s Dad cousin. I thought she lived in Puerto Rico, how did she get through?" Jessica asked.

As their mom got off the phone, she gave a small smile to them, "That was your dad's cousin Tati. She said that she talked to Dad. He's okay. He's in New Jersey walking home."

"How did he get into New Jersey?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know, but I'm guessing he's going to have an interesting story."

They continued to watch TV and wait for news from their father. Around 5:30pm, Jessica got a call from their father. "Dad, is that you?"

"Hi, tell your mother to meet me at the Bayonne Bridge. They’re not letting any cars over, so I will be walking across. She needs to leave now, I'm about to walk across now." her dad instructed. Jessica relayed all this news to her mother who ran out the door.

An hour later their father was home changed, hugging his children and retelling his story.

"Well, as soon as I got off the phone with your mother I went down stairs with my boss Katherine. I waited several minutes and tried calling mom’s cell phone." They figured out that her mother and father just missed each other by minutes.

He continued, "After a few minutes of no answer, I figured mom started to walk toward the ferry. I decided to take the Ferry to New Jersey with Katherine as she lived in New Jersey and could give me a ride. As we walked toward the ferry, we turned a corner, and heard the towers collapse. I froze as I heard the noise that sounded like an airplane engine right over head; and I said to myself 'How could I leave without her?' Please forgive me for leaving without you," he asked her mother tenderly.

"No, don't worry. It's okay. We were all confused." her mother took his hand in hers.

Her father continued, "Well, I wanted to go back to look for you, but Katherine said it would be impossible, dangerous and that we should keep on going. When we finally got to the Ferry, we met up with 2 other people. A father and daughter from Staten Island. We ended up travelling with them the entire time. We got on the last ferry out of New York. When we got to New Jersey, Katherine's husband was there to pick us up. He drove us as far as Hoboken, there the man, his daughter and I walked to Jersey City where they had parked their car. As we were walking I got a call from Tati, screaming and crying asking me if I was okay. I told her I was and had her call you guys. Did she?" Her dad asked.

"Yeah she did. I was confused, I thought she got the wrong number," Xavier said.

They laughed for the first time that day. Her dad continued, "When we arrived at the Bayonne Bridge we were kept from driving across, as they didn't know if anymore attacks were coming. After waiting a bit, the guard agreed to let us walk across the bridge. And now, I'm finally home. Thank you Lord for protecting us all."

God worked mighty miracles that day.

Jessica's friend from college worked on the 96th floor of one of the towers in one of the investment firms there. Her friend was never late to work; that morning she woke up an hour late. As she arrived in New York, the first Tower was hit.

A co-worker of Jessica told the story of how her father, who never called out of work a day in his life, called out sick that morning.

Jessica's uncle was a Police Officer in New York. He was late to work that morning as well. If he had gone into work on time, he would have been one of the first responders on scene.

A woman was trapped in the collapsed building underneath so much rubble. She was barely alive when she heard someone calling out for survivors. When she responded, a hand came through a small opening. He said his name was Ralph, and that he would hold her hand until they got her out of there. She explained that if that hand wasn't there...she would probably have given up and died. But she fought to stay awake, to meet her rescuer, her new found friend. But when she got out, there was no Ralph there. Actually there was no Ralph in that team who rescued her. They told her, no one was holding her hand at all.

God saved many people that day, and worked many miracles throughout that day.

I wrote this as a reminder for everyone. Please remember to tell those you love, how you feel about them. Don’t go to bed angry, you don’t know the future.

Be kind to those around you. Never forget.

Psa 20:7 Some [trust] in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

Peace and Faith

The terrible tragedy that occurred on September 11th, 2001 will haunt many Americans for the remainder of their lives. It will definitely haunt Jessica. You see, she almost lost both her parents that day. Please allow me to tell you this story of faith and peace.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jessica grew up in Staten Island, New York. She was about to turn 21 in September, and things were definitely going her way. She was happy. She had great friends, a great family and was doing well in college. She had just started a new job at the local bank. It was challenging her faith...but by God’s grace, she was working through it all.

Both her parents worked in downtown Manhattan...right across the street from the Twin Towers. In fact each morning, as a short cut, they travelled through the towers to get to their jobs from the bus station.

Lastly, her younger brother was in high school. They all lived busy, happy lives.

The morning of September 11th was like every other morning. In fact, Jessica marveled at how beautiful that morning was. It was a beautiful day. The temperature was just right; there was not a cloud in the sky. It was picturesque.

She got ready at her normal pace, but for some reason did not listen to any of the news stations.

One thing she found odd was that she could not stop praying for protection over her parents that morning. She never stopped praying for them.

Arriving at her job, the bank’s assistant manager let her in. Jessica looked around to see a bunch of strange people standing around.

"What’s going on?" Jessica asked.

"We are being audited," was the answer.

Jessica walked to the teller area, got her cash box and sat down. One of her co-workers was crying, demanding to be sent home. "You should send us home. This is not right. We could end up dying here."

Jessica laughed and thought to herself "That girl is so dramatic." She turned to ask another co-worker what was happening.

"A plane crashed into a building and she’s saying we’re all going to die here."

"Oh wow..." Jessica turned back to watch the auditor and pray for those hurt in the crash. She thought they were talking about a building in Utah. She never would have thought it was in New York.
"There is another plane missing, they think it’s going to the White House," the district manager ran to the back to update them.

As the manager went back to his office, everyone cried out in shock. Jessica was finding it hard to absorb.

"What building did they hit the first time?" Jessica asked out loud.

"One of the Twin Towers," replied the auditor. Shocked, Jessica said a quick prayer for her parents.

"Oh my God, they hit the other tower!" someone yelled from the manager’s office. Jessica started to get fidgety. She wanted to call her mom and dad just to hear their voice.

"They hit the Pentagon," came yet another cry from the manager’s office. "Oh my God..." The district manager came back, "One of the Twin Towers just fell."

"I got to go..." Jessica could hear no more. "I need to call my parents to make sure they are okay," she explained to the auditor.

She ran downstairs to call her mom. At 9:15am she reached the phone to call her mother. The phone kept ringing. "God please let them be okay. God, don't take them away from me." She said aloud over and over. The fear started to grab at her heart.

She hung up and tried her father and could not get through. She kept trying both parents’ cell phones, but could not get a line out. The thought of raising her brother after this crept into her mind.

She slammed the phone down and screamed out "GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!" Her heart hurt so much, she thought it would break. She leaned against the wall, sobbing clutching the phone. “My brother. I need to get to Xavier.”

Jessica ran upstairs and spoke with the manager. "I need to get my brother, my parents are missing - they worked across from the Towers" she explained. She felt herself calming down, though the tears never stopped.

"Oh my God, go ahead go. Do you want someone to drive you?"

"No, I need to go now. I'm fine." Her red eyes said otherwise, but they let her go.

She was delirious with grief and fear. Her heart literally hurt at the thought of losing both her parents. “GOD DON’T DO THIS TO ME!”

She arrived home and ran upstairs to change. "Okay, I need to calm down. Xavier cannot see me like this. God give me grace. God please don't leave us alone. Please protect my parents."
The phone rang. "Mom, Dad?"

It was her grandma; "Jessica it’s me. I can't get a hold of your father." she said crying uncontrollably.

She had never heard her Grandmother cry before. "Grandma, have faith. Trust in God. Look in your heart; do you believe that Dad is still alive?"

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"Then pray Grandma, pray for his quick and safe return home."

"Thank you, Jessica. I will."

"I'm going to hang up right now, because I got to get Xavier. I want him to hear what’s happening from me."

"Okay, call me if you hear from your father."

"I promise Grandma, I promise. Let’s have faith together, he's okay. They are both okay." She hung up the phone and went to get her brother.

There were a lot of parents at the door to the school trying to get their kids. "I don't want my kids to die here." "Yeah, what if they attack the schools. Give us our kids!" They were letting no one in the doors.

Jessica went up to the security guard, "Please I came to get my brother. Both our parents are missing. I need to bring him home." The security guard brought her into the main office, where there were more parents demanding their kids be released.

The security guard went behind the desk to talk to one of the secretaries. "She's going to help you okay?" "Thank you so much"

After 20 minutes they were able to find her brother in the lunchroom, he was about to walk out the door. "Xavier, we need to go home." Jessica said firmly. "I know."

The fear in her baby brothers eyes, matched the fear in hers. As they walked out the door, the secretary tried to get them to talk about it. "Thank you so much for helping us, but we need to get home just in case they try to call us."

It felt like three years had passed by, but it was only 10am as they drove home. But she was no longer alone, she had her brother. "You know what?" she said to her brother, "I have this peace about me, like I know they are okay." Xavier stayed silent and said, "Yeah, me too. God knows we couldn’t handle living without them.”

They got home and waited in the living room for something...anything. 12:30pm rolled about and there was a jingling in the doorway. Someone was coming home.

Jessica ran to open the door to see the most beautiful site she had ever seen. Her mother covered head to toe in soot. "MOM!"

Jessica and Xavier quickly grabbed their mother in a bear hug. Her mother hugged her kids back but said, "Could you wait until I get these dirty clothes off?" They all laughed. "Where's Dad?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know." She replied.

More to come tomorrow.

Pain that encompasses all

She could not hide the pain in her eyes. Was she hearing the doctor right? Miscarriage? Did I kill my baby? "God Almighty make him wrong," she prayed silently.

The doctor left the room and she got up, her sweet husband took her in his arms and said "I'm so sorry honey". She held it in no longer....she fell into her husband's strong arms crying. "He could be wrong, that baby could be okay," he said with such faith. She pushed him away and got dressed. "I killed my baby."

"Sweetie, you didn't. No, don't think that; stay positive. You don't know what's going to happen - you could still be pregnant. Have faith" She continued to get dressed and wiped her face. They walked out the door together.

As they got into the car she decided to call her mom. She dialed the number as her husband called out sick from work. She felt her body calm down, "I will have faith. The baby is fine." She recalled a story her grandmother told her about a woman who bled heavily during her pregnancy, and still had a healthy baby.

As her husband got in the car her mother answered the phone, "Hello" her mother’s calm, comforting voice caused her to start crying again. "The doctor said...the doctor said...he said...he said...", "What’s wrong sweetie?" her mother asked with concern. She couldn't bring herself to say her baby was gone...so she handed the phone to her husband.

"The doctor said that she will most likely have a miscarriage this weekend." She didn't hear the rest. "Why God? Why? What did I do wrong? Is it because of my weight? Is it because of my eating habits? Is it because of my asthma? What did I do wrong?" She kept asking herself the same questions over and over, crying. She shook her head and said with determination: "The baby is still there. I will give birth to this baby and give God all the glory. This will be a miracle that will totally give glory to God. I am still pregnant, the doctor can't know everything."

Her husband handed her the phone again: "Your mother wants to talk to you". He started driving home.

"Hi mom."

"Hi baby. Do you want me to come over? Your dad and I want to come over."

"No, its okay you don't have to come. I know you have plans."

"Do you want to see me?"

"Yes." She started to cry again this time harder. She handed the phone back to her husband. She couldn't handle it anymore. She shut down.

Silent the rest of the ride, she kept saying to herself: "The baby is still there. I will give birth to this baby and give God all the glory. This will be a miracle that will totally give glory to God. I am still pregnant, the doctor can't know everything."

They arrived home. She stood up to get out of the car and felt it. She felt the pain that would never leave her for the rest of her life.

"Oh my God."

"What happened? Are you okay?" Her husband quickly rushed to her side. "It's happening."

They walked slowly into the house and confirmed what she just felt. She called the doctor who told her the same; "I am so sorry but you are having the miscarriage right now." She hung up the phone and cried her heart out. She buried her face in her bed a screamed: "NO!!! GOD NO!"

Through her heart wrenching sobs she told her husband what the doctor told her and what she felt. "I'm so sorry" was all she could say to him; over and over she said "I'm so sorry". He held her and began to cry with her. "Stop it, it's not your fault," he repeated to her. It was the first time she ever saw him cry.

"I'll be right back," he said.

She lay down in bed waiting for her husband to come back. After he was gone for more than 15 minutes she walked around the house to find out he was outside crying. "Baby come back inside, don't leave me alone."

"Go lay down baby, I'm coming inside now." She waited for him as he walked back into the house. "Why did you go outside?" He looked like he was crying.

"I went to call my dad and let him know."

"And to cry right?"

"Yes," he admitted. She looked at him with great concern; "Baby, please don't push me away. We need to be together in this. We need to cry together. We need to mourn together."

"Ok, I promise. I won't leave you again," he said.

When they walked back into the bedroom, she held her stomach as the pain started again. She cried so hard she fell to her knees and had difficulty breathing. Her husband, picked her up and held her. "Baby, you need to calm down. You need to be able to breathe." He started to rub her back for a little bit.

"I need to lie down," she said.

They lay down in bed together holding each other for what seemed forever.

The door bell rang. "My parents are here. Come on." She told her husband.

"I don't even want to see them. Why did they come? I just want to be here with only you."

"They are here to help us and comfort us, come on." She slowly walked out to answer the door.

When she opened the door, the first face she saw - was her mothers. Her mother’s eyes held such compassion it caused her to cry again. "It's okay. Go ahead and let it out." As her body shook from the sobs, her mother cried with her.

1Cr 12:26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with [it]; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with [it].

Being Content

Phl 4:11 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.

Ha! That's a good one right? Being content no matter the circumstances! - who ever heard of something that crazy? I have.

My life has not been easy, and you know what? I don't mind that at all. But at first I did; I complained about everything that happened in my life, always questioning God. "Why God Me? I thought I was a good person, a good Christian, WHY ME?" That was my constant prayer.

When I came across this verse, that first paragraph was a constant thought of mine. Along with: "Its inconceivable! No one can really be content in the circumstances their in. No one."

After some growth, and A LOT of prayer I learned to really grasp this verse. I love this verse. It's an awesome reminder of what my attitude should ALWAYS be. If you wish to know more about me here is my testimony.

I want to ask you this my friends: Do you find yourself thinking: "Why Me Lord?", do you find yourself complaining about the circumstances you are in or going to be in (money, health, etc.)?

Let me remind you of this: God working in your life, so that He might work through your life. Also remember Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose.

Do I still struggle with being content no matter what? Of course I do. But I have to remind myself constantly that there is a greater purpose to what I am going through.

Be Still...

Hey all, I've been suffering from a bad case of Bronchitis so I've had no time (really brain power) to write something. So here is an awesome devotion for today from Streams In The Desert by L.B. Cowman.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Is there any note in all the music of the world as mighty as the grand pause? Is there any word in the Psalms more eloquent than the word "Selah," meaning pause? Is there anything more thrilling and awe-inspiring than the calm before the crashing of the storm, or the strange quiet that seems to fall upon nature before some supernatural phenomenon or disastrous upheaval? And is there anything that can touch our hearts like the power of stillness?

F0r the hearts that will cease focusing on themselves, there is "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding" (Phil 4:7); "quietness and trust" (Isa 30:15), which is the source of all strength ; a "great peace" that will never "make them stumble" (Ps 119:165); and a deep rest, which the world can never give nor take away. Deep within the center of the soul is a chamber of peace where God lives and where, if we will enter it and quiet all other sounds, we can hear His "gentle whisper" (1 Kings 19:12).

Even in the fastest wheel that is turning, if you look at the center, where the axle is found, there is no movement at all. And even in the busiest life, there is a place where we may dwell alone with God in eternal stillness.

There is only one way to know God: "Be still, and know." "The Lord is in His Holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him" (Hab 2:20).

All-loving Father, sometimes we have walked under starless skies that dripped darkness like drenching rain. We despaired from the lack of light from the sun, moon and stars. The gloomy darkness loomed above us as if it would last forever. And from the dark, there spoke no soothing voice to mend our broken hearts. We would gladly have welcomed even a wild clap of thunder, if only to break the torturing stillness of that mournfully depressing night.

Yet Your soft whisper of eternal love spoke more sweetly to our bruised and bleeding souls than any winds that breathe across a wind harp. It was Your "gentle whisper" that spoke to us. We were listening and we heard You, and then we looked and saw Your face, which was radiant with the light of Your love. And when we heard Your voice and saw Your face, new life returned to us, just as life returns to withered blossoms that drink the summer rain.

Great Faith

There have been many stories of great faith; but only one sticks out in my mind. The woman who was diseased for twelve years.


Luk 8:43 Now a woman, having a flow of blood for twelve years, who had spent all her livelihood on physicians and could not be healed by any,

Can you picture her pain? This is how I saw it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abigail was in tears, twelve years was way too long to have to go through this pain. She was always in pain. The nights were filled with her agonizing screams as she clutched her blood soaked sheets. Each day was filled with doctors doing awful things to her, in hopes of healing this poor woman. Pain was her constant companion.

With her money now completely gone; she had nowhere else to turn. No more doctors, no more faith healers. No more anyone - she was all alone. Her family and friends shunned her, believing she received disease because of her sin.

"I cannot do this anymore," she said in determination. Struggling to walk because of her pain, she went into the kitchen and picked up a knife. "I cannot deal with this pain! I will not be shunned any longer!"

As she went to kill herself, she heard voices. She turned to see her neighbors talking outside; she was overhearing their conversation.

"Yes, they say he is the Messiah," said one "He is doing great miracles amongst our people! Did you see Elizabeth? She can walk!"

"I heard he is coming to the village today, we must go out to meet this Jesus!" said the other.

She stood up and began to walk out to meet this man who they called the Messiah. "This man will heal me. He is the Messiah!" She tried to walk as fast as she could, but had to stop frequently because of her pain. "I must keep going, because he will save me. He will see me and have pity on me, and save me." Tears were running down her face - because of the joy she felt at meeting her healer and because the pain was getting worse.

She had never felt this much pain; it was as if her body didn't want to be healed. "I must continue walking, so that I can meet my healer."

As she turned the corner, she saw a large crowd of people. "It's Jesus," was all she heard over and over again.

She started to maneuver the crowds, trying to get closer to him. A strange thought popped into her head, "What if he is too busy? What if he won't heal me?" she quickly pushed that thought out of her mind. "All I need to do is merely touch the hem of his garment to be healed."

As she moved closer, she was over taken by him. She began to cry, there was something about him that made her think..."I want to be near him."

She reached out her frail hand and touched his garment...

Luke 8:47-48 ...came from behind and touched the border of His garment. And immediately her flow of blood stopped. And Jesus said, "Who touched Me?" When all denied it, Peter and those with him said, "Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, 'Who touched Me?' " But Jesus said, "Somebody touched Me, for I perceived power going out from Me." Now when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling; and falling down before Him, she declared to Him in the presence of all the people the reason she had touched Him and how she was healed immediately. And He said to her, "Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace."

Set Me Free

Powerful song

Humbleness is what I long for...

Phl 2:1-4 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Humility...that's a huge buzz word these days. What does it mean to be humble? Literal definition: To be meek, not proud. Its not in our nature to be humble, I definitely know its not in my nature. You have to remember, one of the first things we are taught in school as kids is to be proud of your accomplishments, look after your own and look after yourself..because no one else will.

Pride, which is the antithesis to Humility, has been around for a while. Remember, Lucifer was thrown out of heaven, because of his pride. 1Ti 3:6 (speaking of those in leadership at church) ...not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. (Emphasis mine)

Pro 16:18 Pride [goes] before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

Pride is harmful to your soul. I know and love someone who is very prideful, he thinks he can handle anything that comes his way. Right now, he has no relationship with the Lord. He told someone close that: "he is tired of talking to someone who won't answer back"...he was talking about God.

Now, I know what you would think automatically, that's not a sign of pride. You would be right, its not. Its a sign of giving up, a sign of anger - hate even. But it started out as pride. It started out that he thought he was better at handling everything, better than God.

This young man started out wanting to know God, wanting to have that fire burn within him...but he let pride get in the way.

It was something simple, something that is normally over looked: he was proud of himself, or his accomplishments. So proud.

It didn't take long for the pride to turn to confusion (Why didn't God answer me the way I wanted Him to?); then the confusion to turn to despair (Why isn't God answering me?); and the despair to turn to anger (Fine, I will do it...since God doesn't have time). Then the anger turns into hate (I refuse to talk to someone who won't answer me).

Pride is going to keep you from having a great relationship with God, no it will keep you from having a relationship with God. Period.

There are no in-betweens with sin, you can't have it both ways (be prideful and serve God). As it says in Matthews 6:24 "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon..."

Pride = loving yourself.

Humility = loving JOY (Jesus, Others, Yourself)

Luk 14:11 For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Faithful Friday

I know that a usual meme for Friday is Funny Friday. Well, with all that is happening to people lately, I think we need a day to remind us to be faithful. God will provide.

I think we should start with the always awesome Newsboys:


Mercy Me


Casting Crowns


Interesting skit by Silent Witness Mime troop in 2007. Its a kinda cool, basically what spiritual warfare is all about.


Who: Journey Church of Atlanta Creative Worship Team
When: March 30, 2008.
What: Body Worship to Casting Crowns - East to West.
Why: So that we may bless others with our God-given abilities. Worshiping Him with all our hearts, minds, and strength....in order to bring glory to God.


Casting Crowns


It is Well With My Soul

What is Happening People?

I decided to make this into a series. There is a lot happening in our world that should be addressed!

Teens and Sex

Last week in church, I was talking with a teenage girl and her mother. And all the teen talked about was having a boyfriend; how she wanted one but only the ugly guys want to go out with her; how she thinks its because she's so tall that boys don't ask her out. Oh by the way...she's only 14. She is 14 years old worrying about boys. I tried talking some sense into her, but she wouldn't listen. Her mother didn't stop me...but she wasn't agreeing with me either. What is up people?!

Putting aside the fact that she is 14 yrs old, I firmly believe that girls (or really any female at any age) should enjoy their youth, then later they can think about having a relationship with the opposite sex. I spent much of my teenage years and the beginning of my adult years worrying about boys. Was I pretty enough, Was I funny enough, Was I smart enough? And when I was rejected (or just didn't have a special guy), I would put myself down. Then, when I finally "had" a boyfriend, I changed myself to be the girl that he wanted.

I didn't get to live at all. My relationship with the Lord suffered so greatly. I mean look at that last paragraph...it just wasn't me!

Finally, God gave me that "smack upside the head"...He opened my eyes. I can't say exactly what happened, but my eyes were opened...and I became sad. I was sad because, I didn't let myself live. I didn't get to experience all the great things someone at that age does - because some dumb boy hurt my feelings...or I was acting like someone else. I don't want that to happen to anyone else.

What we need to do is talk to our kids. We need to stop ignoring the problem...and get down to it! I live in Maryland and heard the other day...that a 10yr old girl just found out she was pregnant. People this problem is not going to go away - it's only going to get worse! Be honest with your kids! If you are...please let me give you a round of applause! But if you are not...if you think your kids are old enough or they know better - please, please, please talk to your kids now.

Once you start talking...you will be surprised at what happens. They are will start talking back. Teenagers are a handful (boy is that ever an understatement); I know sometimes you just want to walk away and let them make their own mistakes. Please don't.

Please remember that if your kid is acting out...it's because they need some attention.

Luke 23:28 But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children.

The Lost One

Have you ever wondered what the prodigal son was thinking on his walk back home? What was his father thinking when he saw him? I always wonder about that....here's my take on it.

The Lost One

Aaron was hungry; he had been walking for what seemed like hours. He had taken this long dirt road a million times, but never like this. He was on his way home after years of living the way he finally wanted to - doing what he wanted, when he wanted. But now...now he held his head in shame as he walked home.

Everything on the road held a memory, a wonderful memory that only caused him pain now. There was the tree that he and Isaac would study under; there was the old barn that Abba built for the neighbors. This was harder than he thought. "How am I going to do this? What if I get rejected?" He stopped in his tracks. "What if I cannot go home? Where will I go? No," Aaron said out loud, "I will not let that happen. I must...I must beg him to let me be a servant." Aaron continued walking and thinking; "What am I doing? He's never going to accept me. I spent all of his money on harlots!" He stopped walking again.

Aaron looked at the sky, and then looked at the ground. It was full of pointy rocks, dirt and dung.

"That's it! I will get down on my knees and crawl to him; I will show him how pathetic I know I am!" He continued his walk of shame. He rounded the corner and looked down the road to his childhood home. The place that brought him warmth and comfort as a child only made him feel cold and alone. He strained his eyes to see a little man running down the road to him. "Is that my Abba?" He fell to his knees.

Abba was walking outside the house praying, as he always did at this time, for his youngest Aaron. Aaron was the rebellious one, the one who gave Abba the white hair - but no matter what Aaron did, he still loved his son greatly. Aaron left some time ago, wanting to do his own thing - Abba did not agree...but he knew he must let him make his own choices.

He never heard from Aaron directly, but knew he was OK - at least until the famine hit. No one had seen or heard from his youngest son in quite some time. Abba was fearful that he would never see his youngest again, so he did the best thing he could do...he prayed for him. He had been praying for Aaron since he left, but found himself praying even more now. "Please save my son" was all he could muster. Tears would fill his eyes, and it would hurt to speak...but he would never stop saying: "Please save my son".

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man walking down the road. He felt immediate pity for the man, as he was covered in filth. It seemed that man had not eaten in some time....wait isn't that? He moved closer and squinted. His heart swelled as he realized "THAT'S MY SON! THANK YOU LORD!" He ran as fast as his old legs would take him. It was his son, his lost prodigal son.

Luke15:20-24 And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Bring [fn] out the best robe and put [it] on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on [his] feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill [it], and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry.

Have you ever thought: "I can't become a Christian....I've done way to many horrible things." I know I have thought that, I was right there thinking:"God will never love me after what I have done." But you see this parable is a great picture of God's undying love for us. Earlier in the story, Aaron took his inheritance and spent it all on "prodigal" living. He did what he wanted, when he wanted. He knew he disappointed his father, he knew the shame that he brought upon his family - that's why he came back with the intention to become a servant. But his father had other ideas.

Luke 15:7 says: I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. God wants you and only you; He does not care what you have done, who you were or where you have been. He cares only about you. He wants you to see what He has to offer you.

He has this huge gift of salvation waiting for you to accept.

Or are you that person who says: "I can't become a Christian yet, I am having way too much fun right now." Take a look at those verses; the prodigal son thought that way too - but then came the famine and out went his wealth. You obviously think that there will always be an opportunity to accept Christ; but I have one thing to ask you...Who said you were promised the next 5 minutes?

Romans 3:10 As it is written: "There is none righteous, no, not one;
Not even me! I would never, ever claim to be righteous. I am a sinner saved by Grace. You see ALL HAVE SINNED. Yes even you reading this thinking, "I'm a good person. She's not talking to me". So sorry my friend, but I am talking to even you.

Romans 3:23 ...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God...
Again, ALL HAVE SINNED! I know that there are some who say: "But I do good things, that's good enough." Well to that I answer with Eph 2:8&9 - For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; [it is] the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. (emphasis mine)

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin [is] death, but the gift of God [is] eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Sin brings death plain and simple. Even those little white lies you tell ("Oh Mrs. Johnson, that is a lovely purple feather hat"...yea you know what I'm talking about). And the death it speaks of is spiritual death.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
God loves us so much, that before we even could even accept Him...He sent His son to die for us.

Romans 5:6 For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

John 10:17-18 Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.
Jesus rose from the dead, so that you may have eternal life through Him.

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."
Jesus offers us eternal life, through Him alone. There is nothing that you or anyone else can do to get you to heaven.

Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
We must accept God's gift of salvation by faith alone.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Once we confess our sins, He will forgive them. No matter what they are, Christ will forgive you as long as you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord over your heart.

Romans 10:13 For "whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved."
This says "...calls upon the name of the Lord.." but it does not mean simply saying Lord! It means saying Lord save me, I am a sinner. I confess my sins to you and accept you as my saviour. Come into my heart I pray.

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? [Shall] tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: "For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Once you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour....nothing can separate you from His love. Nothing.

The Know-It-Alls in your life...

Have you ever come across a person who claims to know it all? No matter what the subject, they know the answer to it. And don't even think you can challenge them...uh-uh, they will sit/stand there and argue with you. You must realize that they are the smarter ones...that they are better than you! Yea, Right.

I've known a few people like that in my lifetime - all high and mighty. I laugh about it now, but back when I knew them, all I wanted to do was 'smack 'em upside the head' - as my mom would say. The last thing I wanted to do was...be nice to them. The idea of being a servant to them in anyway was perposterous! I would even go to the point of avoiding these types of people. As I have grown in the Lord, I have learned to deal with people like that. The best way really is to 'kill them with kindness'.

Phl 2:5-8: Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, [and] coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to [the point of] death, even the death of the cross. (NKJV)

Such great verses to live by and really concentrate on when you come across the know-it-all. Jesus, the Son of God: "did not consider it robbery to be equal with God" (NKJV) or "did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped" (NIV). The one person who does know-it-all humbled himself by becoming an 'average joe'. He knew the extent of His power but He knew He had to be the servant of all. He took the form, of a bondservant [Definition - one who is a servant to pay off any monetary debt] so that we could live. So that we could gain eternal life.

In this day and age, everything is about self. How will this help me, or how can I benefit from that? Why am I friends with this person, what are they going to do for me? With all these temptations, we need to keep these verses close to our minds and hearts. I know I do.

We will always come across those people you want to 'smack upside the head'; but instead be a servant to all. Kill them with kindness. :o)

God's Glory

With all that Dave and I are going through, we have really been immersing ourselves in the word. Obviously because of this we are really being blessed and I wanted to share with you something that we read.

1Cr 1:18 - 31: For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: ["I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,] [And bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent."] [fn] Where [is] the wise? Where [is] the scribe? Where [is] the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks [fn] foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, [are called.] But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God--and righteousness and sanctification and redemption--that, as it is written, ["He who glories, let him glory in the LORD."] [fn]

These verses are great reminders of Gods Sovereignty! In the previous verses (1:10-17), Paul chides them for the divisions that were occurring. People were starting to divide the church based on who was taught or really brought to salvation, by which teacher (Paul, Apollos, Cephas or Christ). Because of that fact, the following verses are Paul trying to explain to them how foolish man is compared to God.

There was a widespread misunderstanding of the Gospel message during this time. Paul was trying to show them it's not mans wisdom or cleverness that brought them to Christ, but rather it's holding/keeping them "back". You see in verse 23 it says: "But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumbling block, and unto the Greeks foolishness", the Jews and the Greeks could not (or really cannot) understand because the things of God are spiritually appraised or examined (2:14). Meaning that God is the only one who can grant wisdom. God is the only one who can "save someone".

Also, during this time Greek philosophy was "running rampant". Men were just basically full of themselves, believing they knew everything - even the bible. Which translates to the people were trying to make the bible their own, by using their "earthly wisdom" to put the bible into their own words. Because of this, there was sin growing in the church. People are prideful; they tend to look up to those who are the strongest or wisest. Paul was telling them: The wise men are foolish and those who look to the wisdom of wise men are foolish as well.

Therefore God uses the complete opposite (weak or foolish) to bring all Glory to His name which therefore would break the pride of the prideful. If He did use those who are proud (or strong or whatever) He would not get the glory. Jer 9:23-24 "Thus says the Lord, 'Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness on the earth, for I delight in those things' declares the Lord."

Everything is done to glorify God...EVERYTHING! No matter what you are going through, God is faithful. I know that I needed to desperately hear that. I know I need to hear about God's grace and faithfulness. God is mighty and powerful. I pray that this has blessed you as it has me