WhiteWalls ss_blog_claim=0715ad90bc7bfcde32c3d390e1f6ea2d Just A Thought: December 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


A love of a Father
something beautiful.

A hug of a Mother
something beautiful.

Holding HIS hand
something beautiful.

Taking a stand
something beautiful.

Finding the Love of Your Life
something beautiful.

Being a Wife
something beautiful.

Some beautiful life.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

God's Mercy

He will always
Be there with
Arms open;
Never Judgemental.

He will finish
What He
has started.

Loving you
All the time.



Standing in Your
Being with You
We will all be in Awe.
Surrounded by Your
Will I be able to stand?
To feel Your Love
to be held by You.
To have you call
My name.


Well, I found this poem I wrote back in High School. Enjoy!

How Awesome You Are
Gracious and mighty
In My Unworthiness
You have,
Loved me
and still do
You are
Awesome Lord
Totally and completely Awesome.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I Bring You Good Tidings Of Great Joy

It was Samuel's turn to watch the sheep that night. He took this job begrudgingly; it was a horribly boring chore to him, no glory in it at all. He wanted to be like his friend Aaron - a blacksmith's apprentice. Now that was an exciting idea - working with fire and metal was a man's job. Not caring for sheep, this was insignificant - it affected no one.

He took a deep breath and looked at the other shepherds. They all were sitting at attention, making sure none of their sheep wandered too far. All of Samuel's sheep were asleep, and he was fighting sleep himself. "I cannot fall asleep again, father will have my hide." Samuel said aloud, while trying to keep himself awake.

"Samuel, one of your little ones is getting away," one shepherd yelled to him. He quickly got up to grab the sheep. "Toda Raba, Marcus!" Samuel said with the lamb in his arms. Samuel was grateful for the flocks being close.

Marcus shook his head and laughed, he remembered being so young and foolish. He walked over to Samuel and laughed out loud, "I have been your father's friend for too long to..."

Out of the corner of Marcus' eye he saw a man in white walking toward them. "Who..." before Samuel could finish, a bright light shone all about them. In fear they ran back to the others.

"We must protect the sheep. Come; let us gather in a circle to protect them." The men scurried around the flocks to protect them from this invasion.

Meanwhile, through all this action - the sheep did not move. A peace had come upon them. The bright light and stranger did not scare them, or move them. They stayed still as if under some sort of witchcraft.

Fear crept into Samuel's heart, "We are going to die for these ridiculous sheep!" Sweat poured down his face as his heart began to beat faster with the stranger getting closer. Out of fear for his own life, he shrunk behind Marcus for protection. Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord. And this [will be] the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." (Luke 2:9-12)

All the shepherds fell on their faces, praising God.

Then there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" (Luke 2:13-14) The angels disappeared as quickly as they had appeared.

"We must go quickly," Marcus said, "We must see the Saviour." All the other shepherds agreed.

"But what about the sheep? We cannot take them all, and we cannot leave them here alone." Samuel said with concern.

All the shepherds looked at each other in agreement, "Of course! What shall we do?" asked one; "We must vote to see who stays," said another. "I will stay," Samuel said. "I need to show my father I am responsible."

All the men turned to look at Samuel. "Ha! I am not leaving my flock with him!" said one, with others in agreement. "Calm down everyone. We are not leaving anyone behind. We will take all the sheep with us. We are going to meet our Saviour, who wants to miss that? I don't think the sheep will mind seeing our L-rd".

"But...but, that does not make sense..."Samuel started to say; but Marcus stopped him.”What is wrong with you my friend? Do you not understand what just happened? The Messiah is here! Who cares about anything else?"

Samuel did not understand where his fear came from, so he remained silent. All the men gathered their flocks together and traveled to the City of David.

"I don't believe this. What are we all doing? What if this was not real? What if this is a trick?" Samuel asked himself silently. His father always taught him to believe in the Messiah coming, but this cannot be it - the Messiah would never be in a manger...would He?

The shepherds finally arrived to Bethlehem. "Wait here, I will find out about this Child." Marcus quickly ran into town to find the right place.

"Our Saviour has finally arrived!" The men started to dance and praise God again. "How do we know this is THE Messiah?" asked Samuel, "What if this is a trick?"

The other shepherds laughed, "Foolish boy! How could you say that?" asked one shepherd, "Were you not there tonight? Did you not see? Did you not hear?" The man did not wait for his answer and continued dancing.

Samuel made up his mind that he would have to see to believe. Marcus ran back smiling and laughing. "I saw Him....it was...no words can express...you must come....you must see for yourself." He led the shepherds to the other side of town.

Samuel had never seen Marcus like this before, and it worried him. Has this man been bewitched? Samuel said a silent prayer, asking for guidance - but heard nothing.

They arrived to a barn and Marcus turned to all and said, "Come meet Him. Come meet Jesus."

Samuel walked in to see a young mother and father staring wide eyed at them in wonder. He smiled faintly at the baby and stepped out. Marcus went after the boy, "What are you doing? You must meet Him."

"Marcus it’s a baby!" Samuel yelled out loud, “A baby! How am I supposed to think it’s the Messiah? In a MANGER? That cannot be Him."

Without a word, Marcus took the young boy by the elbow, "What are you doing Marcus? I am not going in there." Marcus brought him in. "Go meet Jesus."

Samuel kneeled down next to the manger and saw the Child. As Samuel reached down to touch the baby's face, Jesus grabbed his hand. Tears filled his eyes as he understood finally. "Messiah." was all Samuel could say as his eyes were opened. His King was finally here.

Luk 2:20 Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Power in the Name of Jesus

Jessica was a prideful girl. She always thought she was a great Christian; in fact she led a small group of women in bible study. She was doing just fine. Or so she thought. She would lead one life in church and another outside of church. She was not doing fine at all, she watched what she wanted, wore what she wanted...etc. Never really took the spiritual world as something serious. Don't get me wrong, she was sweet as could be...but greatly misguided.

I have known Jessica for most of my life; she is not a woman to tell tall tales. She is not an exaggerator - well sometimes she is. But all in all, she is a level-headed, extremely logical woman. So when she told me this tale...I believed her whole heartedly.

1Jo 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

It was around 5:30am one morning. Jessica woke up to hear her mother in the kitchen making herself breakfast.

Jessica was sleeping on her side facing the wall, when she felt someone else in the room. She turned her head to see if there was anyone in the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw an old woman by her closet. The woman looked like death. She had gray skin that seemed to sparkle in the dim light, as if she was covered in dust. Her eyes were bright - like cats eyes reflecting a light. Her hair was white, but covered in the gray dust that covered her body.

She was just gray all over.

Jessica quickly turned on her back to sit up and scream out when the old lady ran out of her eyesight. Jessica tried to sit up...but she felt a pressure pushing her down. It was as if someone or something was pushing every body part down into the bed. Head, legs, arms, fingers, feet...everything. She felt arms wrap around her whole body, but there was nothing there.

"What the-?" Jessica's mouth clamped shut. She tried to open it but only her lips parted. Her teeth could not, would not separate.

Fear crept into her heart.

Then she heard the old lady talk, almost spitting into Jessica's ear. It was in a different language, but Jessica understood the hate and anger behind the voice.
She was going to die.

"Jesus," Jessica was finally able to mutter.

Yelping, the old lady stopped speaking. "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." Jessica kept saying the sweet name over and over. As each time the name of Jesus came out, the pressure alleviated.
"Jesus save me." Jessica finally was able to talk. There was no more pressure, there was nothing.

Jessica jumped out of the bed and searched her room. She looked at her bed as she saw the imprint of her body still deeply impressed into the mattress. "Oh my goodness."

Jessica ran downstairs to tell her mother. "Mom, you will never believe what just happened to me." Her body was still shaking as Jessica retold the story to her mother in detail. When she finished she expected her mother to tell her it was just her imagination, or it was a scary dream. To her shock her mother said: "That has happened to me too." She smiled at Jessica; “God has allowed you to witness something that many people will never - so that you can finally know how to pray. Here are some verses that comfort me and I know it will help you to calm down now:

Psa 18:2-6 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, [who is worthy] to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. The pangs of death surrounded me, And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid. The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; The snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, [even] to His ears.

"Sweetie, God has shown you this so that you can understand. Understand how to pray. Take this as it is - a blessing. Don't be afraid."

"Thanks Mom." Jessica went upstairs, still shaky - but filled with purpose. God had chosen her to be a witness to this. How many times has she mocked those who went through similar circumstances? What a fool she had been, limiting...well, basically the whole spiritual world. God wanted to use her, and she was finally ready to be used for His purpose.

All hail the power of Jesus' name!
Let angels prostrate fall;
bring forth the royal diadem,
and crown him Lord of all.
Bring forth the royal diadem,
and crown him Lord of all.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Laugh Heard Round the World

Joseph pushed the hair from Mary's sweaty face as he checked on her; the child was coming soon, if not now. If he didn't find a place to stay, she would be having the baby in the street. He continued to rush from Inn to Inn trying to find a place.

"No more room" was the constant reply. Fear crept into his heart as he tried to find a warm place. "Ahavah, please stop. I cannot go on any longer," Mary clutched her belly as the pain started again.

Joseph stopped the donkey right in front of the last place in Bethlehem. He went in to talk with the Inn Keeper.

"Please Abba, help me." Mary prayed silently as she waited for her husband to come back. The donkey became restless and started to move. Mary cringed at the movement.

"There was no room for us in the Inn, but the Inn Keeper had mercy and will allow us to stay in the stable for the night." Joseph did not like the location, but it was better than letting his wife be shamed by having this child in public.

He gently pulled the donkey along to the stable. As they reached the stable, a young slave boy came out to show them where to stay. "Please bring the mid-wife to us quickly. The baby will be coming soon."

Wide eyed, the young boy shook his head in obedience and ran to get the midwife.

Joseph bundled up the straw trying to make a decent bed; Mary couldn't help but smile at the care he took of her. After he covered the straw with a blanket, he helped Mary lay down. "They are starting again," Mary could no longer hold in her agony - she screamed out as the baby started to come.

Joseph not knowing what to do prayed; "Abba, please bring the midwife soon. I do not know what to do." Tears streamed down his face as he feared he would lose his wife. "Oh, Ahavah please, I cannot take this. Make the pain stop. I cannot take this!" Mary screamed out again as the baby began to show.

Joseph was shocked by the change in his wife's demeanor. He felt hands pick him up. He turned to see the midwife had come. "Thank..." but before he could finish she had pushed him out the door.

"She is fine. I will come and get you when we are done." She turned and closed the door. Joseph fell to the ground and did what he knew God would want him to do. Pray.

"Make this pain stop. I cannot do this anymore!" Mary was distraught. This was not normal, it couldn't be. It hurt too much. "Something is wrong!"

"Hush child. Everything is fine. You will get through this as the women before you have." The midwife shook her head, "This was a young girl, and therefore she was going to be a complainer. This was going to be a hard night," thought the midwife."You must listen and do exactly as I say for this baby to be born. Everything will be fine as long as you do as I say."

Mary nodded her head and prepared for the pain. "Now when you feel the pain again, I want you to push." Mary did as she was told.

She did not hear much else, but she did feel that release. She tried to sit up to see her baby, the one to be called Jesus - but the midwife's slave pushed her to lie back down. Fear quickly crept into her mind; "I want to see him. I did not hear him. Is the baby okay?" she asked the midwife.

Silently, the midwife knelt down and handed her the most precious gift. A son. He fussed a little, but did not cry out loud. As soon as he was in Mary's arms, the world stopped. He looked at her and smiled. Mary could not hold back the tears. "Hello, Jesus. I've been waiting to meet you."

"I cannot believe this," said the midwife, "this has to be the first birth I have ever been a part of that the child did not scream out. In truth, it sounded like he laughed." Mary smiled at her, “It’s because he is special."

The midwife shook her head as she opened the door to let Joseph in: "Come meet your son."

Joseph ran to Mary's side. "Come meet Jesus."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Trust and Obey

The night air felt good as the sweat poured down her face. She had been running throught the forest for what seemed like hours.


She didn't dare turn around to see if it got closer, she just kept running. The 5'8" 30 yr old was out of shape and feeling it. Her heart and lungs felt as if they would burst; every muscle in her body burned as if on fire, but she did not stop. She couldn't let it catch up. Whatever it was.


She got her second wind as she came across a paved road. She ran even faster. "God save me!"


Whatever was chasing her was catching up. "GOD PLEASE SAVE ME!"

"Stop, slow down," came a voice. "What the-" Jennifer turned her head to follow the voice. As she did, she saw what was chasing her. A Grizzly bear came tumbling after her.

"HOLY CRAP!" Jennifer ran even harder. Looking for someone to help her - anyone.

"Stop, slow down Jennifer. Trust Me." the voice said.

Jennifer ignored as she heard the bear get closer. "JENNIFER, STOP!"

Tears started to steam down her face as she finally obeyed and stopped running. "I can't, Jesus help me I can't. Save me Lord" Jennifer said through the tears and her pain. She laid her body face down on the ground and closed her eyes, as she didn't want to see her body being torn apart.

As she heard the bear come upon her, she saw a bright light and heard someone singing:

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

She smiled as she remembered the hymn from her childhood; oh how she loved that song. It was her favorite. She couldn't help herself as she sang along:"Trust and obey, for there’s no other way To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

As the song finished she realized the bear had still not attacked her. She no longer heard its breathing. No longer heard its panting. She looked up to see the bear right before her. Just looking at her. It turned around as she sat up...and left her alone.

And she heard a voice say: "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2Cr 5:7

This was a dream I had long time ago, when I was not trusting in God. Please remember my friend, God is in control of everything. He wants you to trust in Him.

When things are looking dismal (you have no money to pay the bills this month, or your loved one just found out they have cancer), remember God wants you to trust in Him alone.

Psa 20:7 Some [trust] in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Mary and Martha

Luk 10:38-42 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."

During the Christmas season, we are all bustling about trying to get things done immediately. Are we remembering to take time out for the Lord? I know I haven't been. I have been too busy looking for a second job, writing for my present job, and writing for this blog. I have also been busy trying to get ready for my mothers surgery; getting ready for my trip to GA; getting ready to put up my Christmas decorations; getting ready to start writing professionally; I have been bustling about.....and I would have to admit - I have lost sight of the reason for the season. I have lost my first love, by trying to do what I thought He would want me to do.

I would read my bible, but did it at night when I would have the most difficulty concentrating on what God has been trying to tell me. I would pray, but those quick prayers...not really giving God the time he most assuredly deserves. I was getting overwhelmed VERY quickly.

Funny thing...you know what happened? I threw out my back. You see in all my "bustling", I let God slip from the front burner, or "pushed Him to the side seat" if you will. I became Martha, but I didn't even know it. So God gave me, what I affectionately call a "God Smack". He slapped me upside the head and said "Chill Out - You are not supposed to be doing all of this."

I am glad for my "God Smack"...I have been able to spend much needed time with my husband. I have been able to get back to what I love most - seeking out God.

My friend, please do not lose sight of God. Make sure you take time out to be with your first Love....don't wait for that "God Smack" to get you to refocus...its painful believe me.

Friday, December 5, 2008

My Hero...

To my readers, these two entries were about that day through my eyes. I dedicate this story to my mother who saved someone's life that day. She's my hero.

!!!!!!!!!!! I must warn it gets a little graphic!!!!!!!!!!!

"Where’s Dad?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know," her mother replied. "I tried to call him, but couldn't get through. I waited a little, but decided to walk to the ferry with Mary-Ann." Mary-Ann was her mother's 67yr old co-worker who lived down the street from them. Her mother went upstairs to shower off the dust.

"We gotta keep trying to call Dad," her brother finally broke the silence. He picked up the phone and continued trying.

While they waited for their mother to return, they continued to watch the news stories in disbelief. Jessica kept repeating to herself; "This can't be happening."

Their mother finally came downstairs and sat down with them.

"Ma, what happened?"

Their mother looked at them both with such sadness in her eyes. "I need a minute. Just a minute to stop and regroup."

Jessica watched as her mother put her hands on her face and sobbed so hard her body shook. It scared Jessica how hard her mother cried.

After some time, her mother looked up at them both. "I'm sorry about that. It’s just....the things that I saw..." her mother stopped.

"Mom, tell us what happened." Jessica said foolishly.

"Well, when it all started, we all heard a loud boom. It was so loud and so close we all figured that the Windows Around the World Restaurant had some sort of accident. Our fire & evacuation warden told everyone to get out. I asked her what had happened, all she told me was 'I don't know. All I know is I don't feel safe in here.'

"So I grabbed my bag and walked out the door. I didn't even think to grab my sneakers; I thought we would be back upstairs after a while. I called your father and we told each other just to get home. Thank God we left.

"I walked slowly with Mary-Ann, as she was having difficulty walking due to her breathing problems. We walked down the street to your fathers building and waited." Her mother stopped to wipe her eyes, "I tried calling your father, but only got through once. I left him a message saying I was waiting for him in front of his building. After a few minutes, I looked up at the Towers and saw what looked like clothes falling from the sky. I thought maybe people were getting hot and throwing their clothes out the windows; but as I took a step closer I saw that it was people." Their mother started to cry again, this time her children joined with her. "Oh my God, what must they have been thinking to jump out of a window and take their life...." she trailed off.

After a minute of silence and tears she continued, "I decided to walk to the Staten Island Ferry with Mary-Ann. When we got a couple of blocks away, the second plane hit the other tower. Mary-Ann kept repeating that the building was going to fall on us." Her mother took a breath.

"I kept telling her 'No, they're not going to fall, Mary-Ann. They were built to withstand things like this'. It was the Lord who kept me so calm during that whole time, all I kept thinking was that I did not want her to have a heart attack.

“Mary-Ann was telling me to leave her; she kept saying that she would understand if I ran off without her. But I told her, 'Mary-Ann we are going to get to the Ferry together. There is no way I am going to leave you here alone. Now let’s keep walking.' As soon as I said that there was a loud noise, like an airplane engine right next to us.

"I turned around to see this huge plume of smoke coming straight at us. I told Mary-Ann to cover her face completely with her sweater; I grabbed her arm and we kept walking. I covered my mouth and nose to keep the smoke out. It was so thick I could not see anything in front of me except this pair of black pants. And I followed those pants until we got to Battery Park." she stopped and looked at both her children.

"That was definitely the Lord guiding us, as I could not see a thing. Literally all I saw was a pair of black pants. Once we got to Battery Park, I wanted to thank the person and tell them we were following them, but I could not find anyone wearing those pants. It was as if they disappeared. God was really with us that day." Her mom sat back on the couch, watching her children as if she had never seen them before.

Xavier and Jessica looked at each other in disbelief and in unison said; "I can't believe this is happening."

They all hugged and said a prayer for their father.

At 2:00pm they received an odd phone call.

Xavier answered the phone, "Dad?"

"No, it’s your cousin Tati. Can I talk to your mom?"

Xavier handed the phone to their mother and gave a look of confusion to Jessica. "Who’s Tati?"

"Oh, that’s Dad cousin. I thought she lived in Puerto Rico, how did she get through?" Jessica asked.

As their mom got off the phone, she gave a small smile to them, "That was your dad's cousin Tati. She said that she talked to Dad. He's okay. He's in New Jersey walking home."

"How did he get into New Jersey?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know, but I'm guessing he's going to have an interesting story."

They continued to watch TV and wait for news from their father. Around 5:30pm, Jessica got a call from their father. "Dad, is that you?"

"Hi, tell your mother to meet me at the Bayonne Bridge. They’re not letting any cars over, so I will be walking across. She needs to leave now, I'm about to walk across now." her dad instructed. Jessica relayed all this news to her mother who ran out the door.

An hour later their father was home changed, hugging his children and retelling his story.

"Well, as soon as I got off the phone with your mother I went down stairs with my boss Katherine. I waited several minutes and tried calling mom’s cell phone." They figured out that her mother and father just missed each other by minutes.

He continued, "After a few minutes of no answer, I figured mom started to walk toward the ferry. I decided to take the Ferry to New Jersey with Katherine as she lived in New Jersey and could give me a ride. As we walked toward the ferry, we turned a corner, and heard the towers collapse. I froze as I heard the noise that sounded like an airplane engine right over head; and I said to myself 'How could I leave without her?' Please forgive me for leaving without you," he asked her mother tenderly.

"No, don't worry. It's okay. We were all confused." her mother took his hand in hers.

Her father continued, "Well, I wanted to go back to look for you, but Katherine said it would be impossible, dangerous and that we should keep on going. When we finally got to the Ferry, we met up with 2 other people. A father and daughter from Staten Island. We ended up travelling with them the entire time. We got on the last ferry out of New York. When we got to New Jersey, Katherine's husband was there to pick us up. He drove us as far as Hoboken, there the man, his daughter and I walked to Jersey City where they had parked their car. As we were walking I got a call from Tati, screaming and crying asking me if I was okay. I told her I was and had her call you guys. Did she?" Her dad asked.

"Yeah she did. I was confused, I thought she got the wrong number," Xavier said.

They laughed for the first time that day. Her dad continued, "When we arrived at the Bayonne Bridge we were kept from driving across, as they didn't know if anymore attacks were coming. After waiting a bit, the guard agreed to let us walk across the bridge. And now, I'm finally home. Thank you Lord for protecting us all."

God worked mighty miracles that day.

Jessica's friend from college worked on the 96th floor of one of the towers in one of the investment firms there. Her friend was never late to work; that morning she woke up an hour late. As she arrived in New York, the first Tower was hit.

A co-worker of Jessica told the story of how her father, who never called out of work a day in his life, called out sick that morning.

Jessica's uncle was a Police Officer in New York. He was late to work that morning as well. If he had gone into work on time, he would have been one of the first responders on scene.

A woman was trapped in the collapsed building underneath so much rubble. She was barely alive when she heard someone calling out for survivors. When she responded, a hand came through a small opening. He said his name was Ralph, and that he would hold her hand until they got her out of there. She explained that if that hand wasn't there...she would probably have given up and died. But she fought to stay awake, to meet her rescuer, her new found friend. But when she got out, there was no Ralph there. Actually there was no Ralph in that team who rescued her. They told her, no one was holding her hand at all.

God saved many people that day, and worked many miracles throughout that day.

I wrote this as a reminder for everyone. Please remember to tell those you love, how you feel about them. Don’t go to bed angry, you don’t know the future.

Be kind to those around you. Never forget.
Psa 20:7 Some [trust] in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Peace and Faith

The terrible tragedy that occurred on September 11th, 2001 will haunt many Americans for the remainder of their lives. It will definitely haunt Jessica. You see, she almost lost both her parents that day. Please allow me to tell you this story of faith and peace.


Jessica grew up in Staten Island, New York. She was about to turn 21 in September, and things were definitely going her way. She was happy. She had great friends, a great family and was doing well in college. She had just started a new job at the local bank. It was challenging her faith...but by God’s grace, she was working through it all.

Both her parents worked in downtown Manhattan...right across the street from the Twin Towers. In fact each morning, as a short cut, they travelled through the towers to get to their jobs from the bus station.

Lastly, her younger brother was in high school. They all lived busy, happy lives.

The morning of September 11th was like every other morning. In fact, Jessica marveled at how beautiful that morning was. It was a beautiful day. The temperature was just right; there was not a cloud in the sky. It was picturesque.

She got ready at her normal pace, but for some reason did not listen to any of the news stations.

One thing she found odd was that she could not stop praying for protection over her parents that morning. She never stopped praying for them.

Arriving at her job, the bank’s assistant manager let her in. Jessica looked around to see a bunch of strange people standing around.

"What’s going on?" Jessica asked.

"We are being audited," was the answer.

Jessica walked to the teller area, got her cash box and sat down. One of her co-workers was crying, demanding to be sent home. "You should send us home. This is not right. We could end up dying here."

Jessica laughed and thought to herself "That girl is so dramatic." She turned to ask another co-worker what was happening.

"A plane crashed into a building and she’s saying we’re all going to die here."

"Oh wow..." Jessica turned back to watch the auditor and pray for those hurt in the crash. She thought they were talking about a building in Utah. She never would have thought it was in New York.
"There is another plane missing, they think it’s going to the White House," the district manager ran to the back to update them.

As the manager went back to his office, everyone cried out in shock. Jessica was finding it hard to absorb.

"What building did they hit the first time?" Jessica asked out loud.

"One of the Twin Towers," replied the auditor. Shocked, Jessica said a quick prayer for her parents.

"Oh my God, they hit the other tower!" someone yelled from the manager’s office. Jessica started to get fidgety. She wanted to call her mom and dad just to hear their voice.

"They hit the Pentagon," came yet another cry from the manager’s office. "Oh my God..." The district manager came back, "One of the Twin Towers just fell."

"I got to go..." Jessica could hear no more. "I need to call my parents to make sure they are okay," she explained to the auditor.

She ran downstairs to call her mom. At 9:15am she reached the phone to call her mother. The phone kept ringing. "God please let them be okay. God, don't take them away from me." She said aloud over and over. The fear started to grab at her heart.

She hung up and tried her father and could not get through. She kept trying both parents’ cell phones, but could not get a line out. The thought of raising her brother after this crept into her mind.

She slammed the phone down and screamed out "GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!" Her heart hurt so much, she thought it would break. She leaned against the wall, sobbing clutching the phone. “My brother. I need to get to Xavier.”

Jessica ran upstairs and spoke with the manager. "I need to get my brother, my parents are missing - they worked across from the Towers" she explained. She felt herself calming down, though the tears never stopped.

"Oh my God, go ahead go. Do you want someone to drive you?"

"No, I need to go now. I'm fine." Her red eyes said otherwise, but they let her go.

She was delirious with grief and fear. Her heart literally hurt at the thought of losing both her parents. “GOD DON’T DO THIS TO ME!”

She arrived home and ran upstairs to change. "Okay, I need to calm down. Xavier cannot see me like this. God give me grace. God please don't leave us alone. Please protect my parents."
The phone rang. "Mom, Dad?"

It was her grandma; "Jessica it’s me. I can't get a hold of your father." she said crying uncontrollably.

She had never heard her Grandmother cry before. "Grandma, have faith. Trust in God. Look in your heart; do you believe that Dad is still alive?"

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"Then pray Grandma, pray for his quick and safe return home."

"Thank you, Jessica. I will."

"I'm going to hang up right now, because I got to get Xavier. I want him to hear what’s happening from me."

"Okay, call me if you hear from your father."

"I promise Grandma, I promise. Let’s have faith together, he's okay. They are both okay." She hung up the phone and went to get her brother.

There were a lot of parents at the door to the school trying to get their kids. "I don't want my kids to die here." "Yeah, what if they attack the schools. Give us our kids!" They were letting no one in the doors.

Jessica went up to the security guard, "Please I came to get my brother. Both our parents are missing. I need to bring him home." The security guard brought her into the main office, where there were more parents demanding their kids be released.

The security guard went behind the desk to talk to one of the secretaries. "She's going to help you okay?" "Thank you so much"

After 20 minutes they were able to find her brother in the lunchroom, he was about to walk out the door. "Xavier, we need to go home." Jessica said firmly. "I know."

The fear in her baby brothers eyes, matched the fear in hers. As they walked out the door, the secretary tried to get them to talk about it. "Thank you so much for helping us, but we need to get home just in case they try to call us."

It felt like three years had passed by, but it was only 10am as they drove home. But she was no longer alone, she had her brother. "You know what?" she said to her brother, "I have this peace about me, like I know they are okay." Xavier stayed silent and said, "Yeah, me too. God knows we couldn’t handle living without them.”

They got home and waited in the living room for something...anything. 12:30pm rolled about and there was a jingling in the doorway. Someone was coming home.

Jessica ran to open the door to see the most beautiful site she had ever seen. Her mother covered head to toe in soot. "MOM!"

Jessica and Xavier quickly grabbed their mother in a bear hug. Her mother hugged her kids back but said, "Could you wait until I get these dirty clothes off?" They all laughed. "Where's Dad?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know." She replied.

More to come tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Pain that encompasses all

She could not hide the pain in her eyes. Was she hearing the doctor right? Miscarriage? Did I kill my baby? "God Almighty make him wrong," she prayed silently.

The doctor left the room and she got up, her sweet husband took her in his arms and said "I'm so sorry honey". She held it in no longer....she fell into her husband's strong arms crying. "He could be wrong, that baby could be okay," he said with such faith. She pushed him away and got dressed. "I killed my baby."

"Sweetie, you didn't. No, don't think that; stay positive. You don't know what's going to happen - you could still be pregnant. Have faith" She continued to get dressed and wiped her face. They walked out the door together.

As they got into the car she decided to call her mom. She dialed the number as her husband called out sick from work. She felt her body calm down, "I will have faith. The baby is fine." She recalled a story her grandmother told her about a woman who bled heavily during her pregnancy, and still had a healthy baby.

As her husband got in the car her mother answered the phone, "Hello" her mother’s calm, comforting voice caused her to start crying again. "The doctor said...the doctor said...he said...he said...", "What’s wrong sweetie?" her mother asked with concern. She couldn't bring herself to say her baby was gone...so she handed the phone to her husband.

"The doctor said that she will most likely have a miscarriage this weekend." She didn't hear the rest. "Why God? Why? What did I do wrong? Is it because of my weight? Is it because of my eating habits? Is it because of my asthma? What did I do wrong?" She kept asking herself the same questions over and over, crying. She shook her head and said with determination: "The baby is still there. I will give birth to this baby and give God all the glory. This will be a miracle that will totally give glory to God. I am still pregnant, the doctor can't know everything."

Her husband handed her the phone again: "Your mother wants to talk to you". He started driving home.

"Hi mom."

"Hi baby. Do you want me to come over? Your dad and I want to come over."

"No, its okay you don't have to come. I know you have plans."

"Do you want to see me?"

"Yes." She started to cry again this time harder. She handed the phone back to her husband. She couldn't handle it anymore. She shut down.

Silent the rest of the ride, she kept saying to herself: "The baby is still there. I will give birth to this baby and give God all the glory. This will be a miracle that will totally give glory to God. I am still pregnant, the doctor can't know everything."

They arrived home. She stood up to get out of the car and felt it. She felt the pain that would never leave her for the rest of her life.

"Oh my God."

"What happened? Are you okay?" Her husband quickly rushed to her side. "It's happening."

They walked slowly into the house and confirmed what she just felt. She called the doctor who told her the same; "I am so sorry but you are having the miscarriage right now." She hung up the phone and cried her heart out. She buried her face in her bed a screamed: "NO!!! GOD NO!"

Through her heart wrenching sobs she told her husband what the doctor told her and what she felt. "I'm so sorry" was all she could say to him; over and over she said "I'm so sorry". He held her and began to cry with her. "Stop it, it's not your fault," he repeated to her. It was the first time she ever saw him cry.

"I'll be right back," he said.

She lay down in bed waiting for her husband to come back. After he was gone for more than 15 minutes she walked around the house to find out he was outside crying. "Baby come back inside, don't leave me alone."

"Go lay down baby, I'm coming inside now." She waited for him as he walked back into the house. "Why did you go outside?" He looked like he was crying.

"I went to call my dad and let him know."

"And to cry right?"

"Yes," he admitted. She looked at him with great concern; "Baby, please don't push me away. We need to be together in this. We need to cry together. We need to mourn together."

"Ok, I promise. I won't leave you again," he said.

When they walked back into the bedroom, she held her stomach as the pain started again. She cried so hard she fell to her knees and had difficulty breathing. Her husband, picked her up and held her. "Baby, you need to calm down. You need to be able to breathe." He started to rub her back for a little bit.

"I need to lie down," she said.

They lay down in bed together holding each other for what seemed forever.

The door bell rang. "My parents are here. Come on." She told her husband.

"I don't even want to see them. Why did they come? I just want to be here with only you."

"They are here to help us and comfort us, come on." She slowly walked out to answer the door.

When she opened the door, the first face she saw - was her mothers. Her mother’s eyes held such compassion it caused her to cry again. "It's okay. Go ahead and let it out." As her body shook from the sobs, her mother cried with her.

1Cr 12:26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with [it]; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with [it].

Monday, December 1, 2008

East to West

Here is an awesome video from the Journey Church of Atlanta Creative Worship Team.


Several months ago, I suffered a miscarriage. I was so devastated, but God, in his His grand and wonderful mercy, has brought Dave and I through this time. There are times that I get sad...but I pray and know it was for a reason.

There was someone who was found out she was expecting the same time I was. I just found out today she's having a girl. God in heaven, why does it hurt so much? Anyway, I came across this awesome devotional that I wish to share with ya'll. I love how God knows what we need to hear and when.

2Cr 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding [and] eternal weight of glory,

Steel is the product of iron plus fire. Soil is rock plus heat and the crushing of glaciers. Linen is flax plus the water that cleans it, the comb that seperates it, the flail that pounds it and the shuttle that weaves it. In the same way, the development of human character requires a plus attached to it, for great character is made not through easy living but through suffering.

Consider the diamond; it is formed through YEARS of extreme heat and pressure. It starts out looking like a piece of coal; but then turns out to be this thing of beauty. Don't think that this situation you are going through, is a form of punishment. Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of character.

Remember Psalm 37:5 - Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring [it] to pass.

God is working through you, for a reason. Just wait on Him and He will bless you.
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