WhiteWalls ss_blog_claim=0715ad90bc7bfcde32c3d390e1f6ea2d Just A Thought: family
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Monday, August 10, 2009

Time still goes on...

Well, it's been a while but A LOT has happened since I've written. We moved into my parents house and found out we were expecting our first child. Wow...God is just funny that way right?

I mean the last thing on my mind, no excuse me, the FARTHEST thing from my mind would be to be living at home with my first child. Well, this has been a pregnancy of testing. I mean from the get go God has truly been testing our faith. I found a cyst growing underneath my breast 2 days before I found out I was pregnant. We found out it was a skin cyst and have to wait until after the baby is born to figure out what to do.

Through out the rest of the pregnancy it has been one thing after another. Horrible first trimester (I was so sick and weak). Bleeding through the second trimester has lead me to be on bed rest. They found out that I have an incompetent cervix.

I have been on bed rest now for a little over a month. And it has been a trying time. Trying mostly because of the cramps that I get on occasion. God is good though. Through my mother He gave me this awesome verse:

ZECHARIAH 2:5 For I,' says the LORD, 'will be a wall of fire all around her, and I will be the glory in her midst.'

I pray that through any circumstances you are presently going through you remember this verse. Keep close to your heart my friend that He WILL be a wall of fire all around you.

I love you my friend!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Family

A love of a Father
something beautiful.








A hug of a Mother
something beautiful.






Holding HIS hand
something beautiful.






Taking a stand
something beautiful.





Finding the Love of Your Life
something beautiful.






Being a Wife
something beautiful.





Some beautiful life.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Mary and Martha

Luk 10:38-42 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."

During the Christmas season, we are all bustling about trying to get things done immediately. Are we remembering to take time out for the Lord? I know I haven't been. I have been too busy looking for a second job, writing for my present job, and writing for this blog. I have also been busy trying to get ready for my mothers surgery; getting ready for my trip to GA; getting ready to put up my Christmas decorations; getting ready to start writing professionally; I have been bustling about.....and I would have to admit - I have lost sight of the reason for the season. I have lost my first love, by trying to do what I thought He would want me to do.

I would read my bible, but did it at night when I would have the most difficulty concentrating on what God has been trying to tell me. I would pray, but those quick prayers...not really giving God the time he most assuredly deserves. I was getting overwhelmed VERY quickly.

Funny thing...you know what happened? I threw out my back. You see in all my "bustling", I let God slip from the front burner, or "pushed Him to the side seat" if you will. I became Martha, but I didn't even know it. So God gave me, what I affectionately call a "God Smack". He slapped me upside the head and said "Chill Out - You are not supposed to be doing all of this."

I am glad for my "God Smack"...I have been able to spend much needed time with my husband. I have been able to get back to what I love most - seeking out God.

My friend, please do not lose sight of God. Make sure you take time out to be with your first Love....don't wait for that "God Smack" to get you to refocus...its painful believe me.

Friday, December 5, 2008

My Hero...

To my readers, these two entries were about that day through my eyes. I dedicate this story to my mother who saved someone's life that day. She's my hero.


!!!!!!!!!!! I must warn it gets a little graphic!!!!!!!!!!!


"Where’s Dad?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know," her mother replied. "I tried to call him, but couldn't get through. I waited a little, but decided to walk to the ferry with Mary-Ann." Mary-Ann was her mother's 67yr old co-worker who lived down the street from them. Her mother went upstairs to shower off the dust.

"We gotta keep trying to call Dad," her brother finally broke the silence. He picked up the phone and continued trying.

While they waited for their mother to return, they continued to watch the news stories in disbelief. Jessica kept repeating to herself; "This can't be happening."

Their mother finally came downstairs and sat down with them.

"Ma, what happened?"

Their mother looked at them both with such sadness in her eyes. "I need a minute. Just a minute to stop and regroup."

Jessica watched as her mother put her hands on her face and sobbed so hard her body shook. It scared Jessica how hard her mother cried.

After some time, her mother looked up at them both. "I'm sorry about that. It’s just....the things that I saw..." her mother stopped.

"Mom, tell us what happened." Jessica said foolishly.

"Well, when it all started, we all heard a loud boom. It was so loud and so close we all figured that the Windows Around the World Restaurant had some sort of accident. Our fire & evacuation warden told everyone to get out. I asked her what had happened, all she told me was 'I don't know. All I know is I don't feel safe in here.'

"So I grabbed my bag and walked out the door. I didn't even think to grab my sneakers; I thought we would be back upstairs after a while. I called your father and we told each other just to get home. Thank God we left.

"I walked slowly with Mary-Ann, as she was having difficulty walking due to her breathing problems. We walked down the street to your fathers building and waited." Her mother stopped to wipe her eyes, "I tried calling your father, but only got through once. I left him a message saying I was waiting for him in front of his building. After a few minutes, I looked up at the Towers and saw what looked like clothes falling from the sky. I thought maybe people were getting hot and throwing their clothes out the windows; but as I took a step closer I saw that it was people." Their mother started to cry again, this time her children joined with her. "Oh my God, what must they have been thinking to jump out of a window and take their life...." she trailed off.

After a minute of silence and tears she continued, "I decided to walk to the Staten Island Ferry with Mary-Ann. When we got a couple of blocks away, the second plane hit the other tower. Mary-Ann kept repeating that the building was going to fall on us." Her mother took a breath.

"I kept telling her 'No, they're not going to fall, Mary-Ann. They were built to withstand things like this'. It was the Lord who kept me so calm during that whole time, all I kept thinking was that I did not want her to have a heart attack.

“Mary-Ann was telling me to leave her; she kept saying that she would understand if I ran off without her. But I told her, 'Mary-Ann we are going to get to the Ferry together. There is no way I am going to leave you here alone. Now let’s keep walking.' As soon as I said that there was a loud noise, like an airplane engine right next to us.

"I turned around to see this huge plume of smoke coming straight at us. I told Mary-Ann to cover her face completely with her sweater; I grabbed her arm and we kept walking. I covered my mouth and nose to keep the smoke out. It was so thick I could not see anything in front of me except this pair of black pants. And I followed those pants until we got to Battery Park." she stopped and looked at both her children.

"That was definitely the Lord guiding us, as I could not see a thing. Literally all I saw was a pair of black pants. Once we got to Battery Park, I wanted to thank the person and tell them we were following them, but I could not find anyone wearing those pants. It was as if they disappeared. God was really with us that day." Her mom sat back on the couch, watching her children as if she had never seen them before.

Xavier and Jessica looked at each other in disbelief and in unison said; "I can't believe this is happening."

They all hugged and said a prayer for their father.

At 2:00pm they received an odd phone call.

Xavier answered the phone, "Dad?"

"No, it’s your cousin Tati. Can I talk to your mom?"

Xavier handed the phone to their mother and gave a look of confusion to Jessica. "Who’s Tati?"

"Oh, that’s Dad cousin. I thought she lived in Puerto Rico, how did she get through?" Jessica asked.

As their mom got off the phone, she gave a small smile to them, "That was your dad's cousin Tati. She said that she talked to Dad. He's okay. He's in New Jersey walking home."

"How did he get into New Jersey?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know, but I'm guessing he's going to have an interesting story."

They continued to watch TV and wait for news from their father. Around 5:30pm, Jessica got a call from their father. "Dad, is that you?"

"Hi, tell your mother to meet me at the Bayonne Bridge. They’re not letting any cars over, so I will be walking across. She needs to leave now, I'm about to walk across now." her dad instructed. Jessica relayed all this news to her mother who ran out the door.

An hour later their father was home changed, hugging his children and retelling his story.

"Well, as soon as I got off the phone with your mother I went down stairs with my boss Katherine. I waited several minutes and tried calling mom’s cell phone." They figured out that her mother and father just missed each other by minutes.

He continued, "After a few minutes of no answer, I figured mom started to walk toward the ferry. I decided to take the Ferry to New Jersey with Katherine as she lived in New Jersey and could give me a ride. As we walked toward the ferry, we turned a corner, and heard the towers collapse. I froze as I heard the noise that sounded like an airplane engine right over head; and I said to myself 'How could I leave without her?' Please forgive me for leaving without you," he asked her mother tenderly.

"No, don't worry. It's okay. We were all confused." her mother took his hand in hers.

Her father continued, "Well, I wanted to go back to look for you, but Katherine said it would be impossible, dangerous and that we should keep on going. When we finally got to the Ferry, we met up with 2 other people. A father and daughter from Staten Island. We ended up travelling with them the entire time. We got on the last ferry out of New York. When we got to New Jersey, Katherine's husband was there to pick us up. He drove us as far as Hoboken, there the man, his daughter and I walked to Jersey City where they had parked their car. As we were walking I got a call from Tati, screaming and crying asking me if I was okay. I told her I was and had her call you guys. Did she?" Her dad asked.

"Yeah she did. I was confused, I thought she got the wrong number," Xavier said.

They laughed for the first time that day. Her dad continued, "When we arrived at the Bayonne Bridge we were kept from driving across, as they didn't know if anymore attacks were coming. After waiting a bit, the guard agreed to let us walk across the bridge. And now, I'm finally home. Thank you Lord for protecting us all."

God worked mighty miracles that day.

Jessica's friend from college worked on the 96th floor of one of the towers in one of the investment firms there. Her friend was never late to work; that morning she woke up an hour late. As she arrived in New York, the first Tower was hit.

A co-worker of Jessica told the story of how her father, who never called out of work a day in his life, called out sick that morning.

Jessica's uncle was a Police Officer in New York. He was late to work that morning as well. If he had gone into work on time, he would have been one of the first responders on scene.

A woman was trapped in the collapsed building underneath so much rubble. She was barely alive when she heard someone calling out for survivors. When she responded, a hand came through a small opening. He said his name was Ralph, and that he would hold her hand until they got her out of there. She explained that if that hand wasn't there...she would probably have given up and died. But she fought to stay awake, to meet her rescuer, her new found friend. But when she got out, there was no Ralph there. Actually there was no Ralph in that team who rescued her. They told her, no one was holding her hand at all.

God saved many people that day, and worked many miracles throughout that day.

I wrote this as a reminder for everyone. Please remember to tell those you love, how you feel about them. Don’t go to bed angry, you don’t know the future.

Be kind to those around you. Never forget.
Psa 20:7 Some [trust] in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Pain that encompasses all

She could not hide the pain in her eyes. Was she hearing the doctor right? Miscarriage? Did I kill my baby? "God Almighty make him wrong," she prayed silently.

The doctor left the room and she got up, her sweet husband took her in his arms and said "I'm so sorry honey". She held it in no longer....she fell into her husband's strong arms crying. "He could be wrong, that baby could be okay," he said with such faith. She pushed him away and got dressed. "I killed my baby."

"Sweetie, you didn't. No, don't think that; stay positive. You don't know what's going to happen - you could still be pregnant. Have faith" She continued to get dressed and wiped her face. They walked out the door together.

As they got into the car she decided to call her mom. She dialed the number as her husband called out sick from work. She felt her body calm down, "I will have faith. The baby is fine." She recalled a story her grandmother told her about a woman who bled heavily during her pregnancy, and still had a healthy baby.

As her husband got in the car her mother answered the phone, "Hello" her mother’s calm, comforting voice caused her to start crying again. "The doctor said...the doctor said...he said...he said...", "What’s wrong sweetie?" her mother asked with concern. She couldn't bring herself to say her baby was gone...so she handed the phone to her husband.

"The doctor said that she will most likely have a miscarriage this weekend." She didn't hear the rest. "Why God? Why? What did I do wrong? Is it because of my weight? Is it because of my eating habits? Is it because of my asthma? What did I do wrong?" She kept asking herself the same questions over and over, crying. She shook her head and said with determination: "The baby is still there. I will give birth to this baby and give God all the glory. This will be a miracle that will totally give glory to God. I am still pregnant, the doctor can't know everything."

Her husband handed her the phone again: "Your mother wants to talk to you". He started driving home.

"Hi mom."

"Hi baby. Do you want me to come over? Your dad and I want to come over."

"No, its okay you don't have to come. I know you have plans."

"Do you want to see me?"

"Yes." She started to cry again this time harder. She handed the phone back to her husband. She couldn't handle it anymore. She shut down.

Silent the rest of the ride, she kept saying to herself: "The baby is still there. I will give birth to this baby and give God all the glory. This will be a miracle that will totally give glory to God. I am still pregnant, the doctor can't know everything."

They arrived home. She stood up to get out of the car and felt it. She felt the pain that would never leave her for the rest of her life.

"Oh my God."

"What happened? Are you okay?" Her husband quickly rushed to her side. "It's happening."

They walked slowly into the house and confirmed what she just felt. She called the doctor who told her the same; "I am so sorry but you are having the miscarriage right now." She hung up the phone and cried her heart out. She buried her face in her bed a screamed: "NO!!! GOD NO!"

Through her heart wrenching sobs she told her husband what the doctor told her and what she felt. "I'm so sorry" was all she could say to him; over and over she said "I'm so sorry". He held her and began to cry with her. "Stop it, it's not your fault," he repeated to her. It was the first time she ever saw him cry.

"I'll be right back," he said.

She lay down in bed waiting for her husband to come back. After he was gone for more than 15 minutes she walked around the house to find out he was outside crying. "Baby come back inside, don't leave me alone."

"Go lay down baby, I'm coming inside now." She waited for him as he walked back into the house. "Why did you go outside?" He looked like he was crying.

"I went to call my dad and let him know."

"And to cry right?"

"Yes," he admitted. She looked at him with great concern; "Baby, please don't push me away. We need to be together in this. We need to cry together. We need to mourn together."

"Ok, I promise. I won't leave you again," he said.

When they walked back into the bedroom, she held her stomach as the pain started again. She cried so hard she fell to her knees and had difficulty breathing. Her husband, picked her up and held her. "Baby, you need to calm down. You need to be able to breathe." He started to rub her back for a little bit.

"I need to lie down," she said.

They lay down in bed together holding each other for what seemed forever.

The door bell rang. "My parents are here. Come on." She told her husband.

"I don't even want to see them. Why did they come? I just want to be here with only you."

"They are here to help us and comfort us, come on." She slowly walked out to answer the door.

When she opened the door, the first face she saw - was her mothers. Her mother’s eyes held such compassion it caused her to cry again. "It's okay. Go ahead and let it out." As her body shook from the sobs, her mother cried with her.

1Cr 12:26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with [it]; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with [it].

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Humbleness is what I long for...

Phl 2:1-4 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Humility...that's a huge buzz word these days. What does it mean to be humble? Literal definition: To be meek, not proud. Its not in our nature to be humble, I definitely know its not in my nature. You have to remember, one of the first things we are taught in school as kids is to be proud of your accomplishments, look after your own and look after yourself..because no one else will.

Pride, which is the antithesis to Humility, has been around for a while. Remember, Lucifer was thrown out of heaven, because of his pride. 1Ti 3:6 (speaking of those in leadership at church) ...not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. (Emphasis mine)

Pro 16:18 Pride [goes] before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

Pride is harmful to your soul. I know and love someone who is very prideful, he thinks he can handle anything that comes his way. Right now, he has no relationship with the Lord. He told someone close that: "he is tired of talking to someone who won't answer back"...he was talking about God.

Now, I know what you would think automatically, that's not a sign of pride. You would be right, its not. Its a sign of giving up, a sign of anger - hate even. But it started out as pride. It started out that he thought he was better at handling everything, better than God.

This young man started out wanting to know God, wanting to have that fire burn within him...but he let pride get in the way.

It was something simple, something that is normally over looked: he was proud of himself, or his accomplishments. So proud.

It didn't take long for the pride to turn to confusion (Why didn't God answer me the way I wanted Him to?); then the confusion to turn to despair (Why isn't God answering me?); and the despair to turn to anger (Fine, I will do it...since God doesn't have time). Then the anger turns into hate (I refuse to talk to someone who won't answer me).

Pride is going to keep you from having a great relationship with God, no it will keep you from having a relationship with God. Period.

There are no in-betweens with sin, you can't have it both ways (be prideful and serve God). As it says in Matthews 6:24 "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon..."

Pride = loving yourself.

Humility = loving JOY (Jesus, Others, Yourself)

Luk 14:11 For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Thursday, November 13, 2008

What is Happening People?

I decided to make this into a series. There is a lot happening in our world that should be addressed!

Teens and Sex

Last week in church, I was talking with a teenage girl and her mother. And all the teen talked about was having a boyfriend; how she wanted one but only the ugly guys want to go out with her; how she thinks its because she's so tall that boys don't ask her out. Oh by the way...she's only 14. She is 14 years old worrying about boys. I tried talking some sense into her, but she wouldn't listen. Her mother didn't stop me...but she wasn't agreeing with me either. What is up people?!

Putting aside the fact that she is 14 yrs old, I firmly believe that girls (or really any female at any age) should enjoy their youth, then later they can think about having a relationship with the opposite sex. I spent much of my teenage years and the beginning of my adult years worrying about boys. Was I pretty enough, Was I funny enough, Was I smart enough? And when I was rejected (or just didn't have a special guy), I would put myself down. Then, when I finally "had" a boyfriend, I changed myself to be the girl that he wanted.

I didn't get to live at all. My relationship with the Lord suffered so greatly. I mean look at that last paragraph...it just wasn't me!

Finally, God gave me that "smack upside the head"...He opened my eyes. I can't say exactly what happened, but my eyes were opened...and I became sad. I was sad because, I didn't let myself live. I didn't get to experience all the great things someone at that age does - because some dumb boy hurt my feelings...or I was acting like someone else. I don't want that to happen to anyone else.

What we need to do is talk to our kids. We need to stop ignoring the problem...and get down to it! I live in Maryland and heard the other day...that a 10yr old girl just found out she was pregnant. People this problem is not going to go away - it's only going to get worse! Be honest with your kids! If you are...please let me give you a round of applause! But if you are not...if you think your kids are old enough or they know better - please, please, please talk to your kids now.

Once you start talking...you will be surprised at what happens. They are will start talking back. Teenagers are a handful (boy is that ever an understatement); I know sometimes you just want to walk away and let them make their own mistakes. Please don't.

Please remember that if your kid is acting out...it's because they need some attention.

Luke 23:28 But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Funny Thing....

My brother just said the funny thing: "people who are absentminded don't know if they farted"...my brother is awesome!

Shopping with Mastercard

Lately I have noticed that there are not that many commercials which come with a lot of heart. Most are about self preservation, preserving your child’s health, slapstick humor, sex or whatever is applicable to the item they are selling. A fellow blogger (from my other site) wrote an article about a commercial with heart (Microsoft Makes Great Commercials). When I see a commercial with heart, I think that it should be applauded!

I saw this commercial the other day and fell in love; it did bring a tear to my eye. It’s a fairly new spot from McCann World Group. It features a woman who is wandering through a magical little shop and actually buys priceless things. "28 laughs, 9 hugs, 52 smiles, 2 contented sighs = $0. A free day to take them all in: Priceless". I hope everyone can enjoy a day to take all those things in, because nothing beats the sound of laughter. Am I right? Or am I right?

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Friday!!

Well, today Dave and I started talking about having kids again. I'm so unsure about whether we should start trying again! I really dont know. Dave neither actually. He made a good point - we just need to pray about it.

I'm kinda scared actually. I don't want to go through that all over again - getting pregnant to lose my baby. That was the worst thing I ever had to go through. I know we can't let this get to us...to me really. I know it's all about trusting God....but I just don't want to deal with this again. My friend has six kids and is expecting her seventh (God bless her)....but she has had 2 miscarriages. I don't know it was her first and sixth pregnancies.

I know that they say it's highly unlikely if you have a miscarriage once, you will have another (or something like that)...but what if I'm like Michelle? What if I'm the type that can't have kids?

God help me if I can't have kids!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Oh yea...

So, now that I got my period...my husband wants to start trying to have kids again. I don't know if thats a good idea. I have such doubts!

I mean, what about this economy? Dave and I have some debt over our head...shouldnt we wait to get rid of it until we start? Also, I am overweight, what if I had the miscarriage because of my weight issues? I mean, I am losing weight right now, but what if that's not enough?

Oh here's the best part! My dad told David that we should not have kids yet - because we don't have enough money or something like that. My dad has said some stupid things but that just takes the cake. I know that he means well, but dang! God bless him, that's all I can say.

I just don't know. What am I supposed to do? Dave is supportive, but he wants to talk about it. I don't think I am emotionally ready for that just yet too.

Actually I think that's the biggest thing. I don't think I could handle being pregnant again. I know that I shouldnt freak out about it. I know that lots of women have had miscarriages and have kids after. Its just...I don't know.
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